Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Some Random Thoughts

It's been a while since I wrote. Life is trying to throw my curve balls and I am trying to hit home runs out of them. I really have been lost for words at what to write. I can vent all that is bothering me, but I just don't want to make this blog into a venting blog. I want this blog to be about me and my writing.

I can rant about how there are so many stupid people in the US who ate voting for that idiot Trump. None of the other candidates are great either. No matter whom is chosen, it will be awful. The way the politics are going, we are regressing and not progressing. I can go on and on but I won't. I am trying to enjoy what time I have left in this world (hopefully another 50 years or more).

I can cast self doubt on myself by comparing myself to all who grew up with me. None of them are millionaires but they are successful in their own right. I feel like I chose a bad path. But the path I'm on brought me happiness; my husband. I just feel like I started too late. My friends have at least on child and maximum 4. Married for years. Careers established. I feel like I've been spinning my wheels inna dead end job right now. I don't even feel this is the best place for my career. My job is a post all by itself so I don't want to capitalize on it here. It sucks and that's all I'm going to say. I can just wash away these doubts and stay head fast in making my situation better. That's what I am doing.

I can complain about the state of human interaction nowadays. People today are evil. They put on anonymous airs and continue to trash one another on social media. Men are treating women like objects. Women now find it better to be superficial and fake. Everyone wants to be a trash talking ghetto woman found on shows like Love & Hip Hop, Housewives of (choose any city) or stupid shows like that capitalize on making women look like idiots. Men find it easy to sleep and impregnate and leave their women and then go bash them on social media. Whatever happened to moving on to next without having to bash your past? People today do not respect each other. I know this is not for all people out there, but there is enough of this shit going around. I am glad I'm not single. I am happy I found the best husband. He makes me very happy.

I can worry about how fast time is going by. I was planning to be published way before now. However, I don't have the luxury right now to sit and do it. I have so many things to take care of. I still have to our 2015 taxes. I have a client project to work on (need steady income). I also have to fix my house but din't have the cash to do so. I just want to say 'fuck it' and just disappear at times. There are just to many things to do and so little time. With this stress, I am having a creative block. Even my dreams are not epic as they were. I really enjoyed my dreams. Now they are kind of bland. I think I may need to get away. I need a vacation.

What I really would like to write is how excited I am about the Marvel movies coming out this year. Marvel is doing it up right. I am excited for hubby and I's anniversary trip to the Poconos. I am also excited for all of our mini trips and activities planned for the rest of the year. I look forward to some down time in the future. A dream of mine is to live in a house on the beach without the issues that come with it. A woman can dream.

Until next time.....

Monday, April 4, 2016

Death In The Family: Part Tres

This past weekend we went to my cousin M's funeral. He was 1 year older than me. Makes me think about my life. This my 3rd, 1st cousin to pass away. None of my aunts or uncles have passed but my generation is dying off. It is heartbreaking.

As you know funerals tend to be family gatherings. We tend to see relatives we normally don't see. Four out of my mom's 6 siblings came and some of their children. Like all family gatherings there's going to be drama. I expected drama. This was also a chance to introduce hubby to my mom's side of the family. He only met one cousin and one Aunt.

The drama for me was brought on by my Uncle. I haven't seen him since my cousin A's funeral. At A's funeral my Uncle had a tizzy about how the 2nd and 3rd cousins don't respect him and such. To be honest, a good chunk of the 2nd and 3rd cousins didn't even know who he was. It's not like he was around for them to get to know him. At M's funeral. I was talking to my cousin Md, introducing hubby to her and giving her our condolences. I saw my Uncle. So here how things unfolded.

Me: Hey Uncle D
Uncle D: You have an uncle?
I hug him.
Uncle D: Now, you have an uncle?
Me: Well I tried to keep in touch with you but you never responded.
Uncle D: Really
Me: I emailed you. That's the only contact info I have for you.
Uncle D: (flailing his arms) I don't do no technology crap.
Me: so how about we exchange info at end of the funeral. (Pulling my hubby close) By the way, let me introduce you to my husband.
They shook hands cordially and my uncle ran off. I didn't even see him at the end of the funeral. We did not go to the Repass (where food is served and you get to socialize) afterward.

All this happened within earshot of my mother, brother and husband. It truly irritated the shit out of me after the funeral. He was so rude and the misery coming off of his words was palpable. He was not joking or being sarcastic. My mom mentioned in car ride home that he was was mad that he didn't get invited to my wedding. None of my aunts and uncles were invited to my wedding (both sides of my family). If that was the true reason, he needs to get over it. I, however, don't think that's the case. I don't even want to bother with him any longer. He is there in title only and not relationship. I don't know I let this bother me so much to write this, but it did.

Later that night my hubby asked if my Uncle was just being sarcastic when he was talking to me. I said nope he was being rude. He was a bit shocked at the behavior. That's just my family's behavior. This drama didn't make a solemn situation any better.

Everyone's family is far from perfect. It's how you deal with them that makes you who you are.

So folks I just want to end this rant with some positivity. Treat those around you as you want to be treated. And live your life as happily and freely as you wish because you are not guaranteed tomorrow.