Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Worst Date In History

So I was listening to the 102.7 FM radio show the other morning. They were asking people to call in and tell them their worst date ever. So instead of calling in, I decided to write it down here for you. I am due for a post anyhow. So here it goes.
When I lived in California I didn't have a car. You needed one to get around. So I had to ask my dad to drive me around. He wouldn't let me use his car. This is a bit of back history before I delved into the story.
I met this dude. I don't remember his name, so let's call him Baka (idiot in Japanese). So, I met him at a work party. He didn't work at my company, but was a coworker's friend. We hit it off pretty well. By end of night we had exchanged numbers and he was drunk off his ass. I was sober. I don't really drink.
Two days later, Baka called me and we spoke for a while. He seemed like a good guy who partied hard. I'm not that fond of hard partiers. He invited me on a date to a friends birthday gathering. I accepted with a condition: no getting drunk. He agreed with the terms.
Saturday afternoon he calls says he couldn't make it to Oakland to pick me up because he was still doing finishing touches on his friend's birthday celebration. I told him I'll find a way there. My dad ended up driving me to the farthest part of San Francisco (don't remember the neighborhood name, maybe Sunset Park?). We met Baka outside. My dad asked if he needed to pick me up. Baka said he'll drop me home. They shook hands and my dad left.
Baka introduced me to his friends. Then I found out that the celebration was on a party trolley (like a party bus but on a cable car instead). Warning signs started to rear its head. So when we get on the trolley, I reinforced my thoughts to Baka. He said he wasn't going to drink at all. How was it, by time the trolley brought us back to the house, Baka was drunk off his ass.

Fuck me. Now I'm in middle of San Francisco I am not familiar with and my dad is not answering his phone. Fuck. So, Baka suggests I drive his "whip". I didn't know what his whip was until I saw this huge GMC SUV/truck. My mouth literally dropped when I saw it. I am 5'4". That monster was made for tall folks. I needed help getting in the truck. He gets in the passenger side. My head barely made it over the steering wheel. I had to adjust everything so I can see. I asked one of his friends how to get to the Bay Bridge.
Okay so now I'm on my way home. I got slightly turned around a bit in SF, but managed to get on the bridge. If you don't know, this bridge is 8 miles long. I'm in the right line driving because I'm not to comfortable driving this beast.

Here comes the best part of the trip. Baka asks me if he can smoke some weed while I drove. I screamed at him and said HELL NO!!! He bitched and moaned but he complied with my request. Just after that conversation, I checked my rear view mirror to see at least 3 cop cars behind me. Holy shit!! If dude lit one up, my ass would've been arrested on the spot!!!! Luckily after I got off the bridge, the cop cars turned off somewhere. I made my way home. Now the block I lived on was a 2 way but you can only park on one side. If you parked on the wrong side, it's instant towing. So I parked his vehicle in the worst part of the wrong side of the road. At this point, his ass was snoring. I shoved him to wake him up gave him his car keys. I got out of his car, went to my apartment and went to bed.
I didn't hear from Baka for another 2 days. He spoke as if nothing happened. I told him to lose my number.
This date goes down As the worst date in my history. I will always remember this day until the day I die.