Saturday, October 20, 2007

Kappa Alpha Psi a.k.a. Black Gangsters

Kappa Alpha Psi was created in 1911 at an all White University in Indiana. It was born out of the need to protect themselves from the Whites who were abusing & killing them. This fraternity is now all over the country in multiple colleges and universities. Joining a fraternity is supposed to instill brotherhood amongst each other.

Today, some chapters still hold strong to history. The some are a few. It seems that street gangs mentality has entered into the fraternities. Pledging consistes of getting jumped. The same way you get into gangs.

My brother was joining a chapter of KAP on the campus of CSU East Bay. They whooped until he had to go to the hospital. After that he dropped the line. He didn't want to be a part of the fraternity after that. However, he still maintained somewhat of a friendship with some members who were pledging with him. A year later, he had still maintained the friendship. But then this year gang mentality reared it's ugly head.

One of his KAP friends was talking to my brother. Then he asked my brother for some assistance (financial). My brother told him he couldn't help him because he needs some financial assistance of his own. He was barely making it at all. My brother turned and walked away. That was the beginning of the end. The guy start screaming, "don't you dare turn your back on me!" From that day on, they shadowed my brother. Threatened his life. Broke into his apartment to prove they have access to him at any point of time. He walks down the street, they yell out that they are going to kill him. I had to fly him home immediately. His life is more important.

When my brother came home, we sat down to discuss what the KAP fraternity is supposed to do for him and discussed what had happened. He tells me that KAP was supposed to build comradry and brotherhood. However there are rules. You must never turn your back on a brother. That sounds like some gangster stupidity. My brother was not even a member of the fraternity. That rule should not have anything to do with him. Yes I am very passionate about this because they have tried to take my brother's life.

This is just my way of warning the world of the dangers of fraternities and sororities in colleges. Is it really necessary to join a group that's going to abuse you in order to become a member?

Sunday, September 9, 2007

I Know When I'm Licked

I don't know why I put myself out there. I start hanging with the guy I previously discussed. I think I may have started to like him more than I should. He's still married and he has a child. I understand his circumstances. I am a bit too understanding. This is the sitch.

Friday, I invited him to spend the weekend with me if he wasn't busy. He said it was cool & he didn't have any other plans. Saturday arrives, haven't heard from him until I called him around 2 pm. He said he was going to call me. He had his daughter but he was going to come later in the evening. Later in the evening came & left with no word from him. I cooked dinner for him. I do not cook for people too often. I understand that his daughter is his priority, but he could have called and said that he couldn't make it.

Now, today is Sunday, haven't heard from him at all. No phone calls. Nothing. I ended up doing consulting work today. And I was able to catch up on some personal projects yesterday. Well at least things were accomplished this weekend.

I just don't know why I let people disappoint me. Maybe I really need to give people the same that they give me. Maybe he was trying to show me something. I may also be reading too much into this. I just get bothered when people are thoughtless of others.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Comics & Hygiene

Why do those who collect comics have poor hygiene? Or should carry a funky smell no matter how they clean up? What made me think of this topic? I was passing a comic shop on 23rd St & Madison Ave on Friday and this man walked out of the shop. I nearly passed out when he walked by me. He smelled so bad, I thought he was homeless. But he had a huge bag of comics. That also made me make some comparisons that I have noticed.

I am an avid manga reader so I do have to go into comic shops in order to purchase them. Ever walk into one? It's a sacrifice I make every other month. The places smell of bad body odor. They are always packed with those men, as stated above, who lack hygiene or just funky. I have been to comic conventions too. The smaller ones have the same smell as the comic shops, but more potent because you have 10 times more of these men there. The only place that I do get relief is at the large NY Comic Con. I don't think the men can make the whole Javitz Center smell.

Since I go to the places would make you think about mine. I am a woman who is very conscience about hygiene. I make sure I bathe, lotion, and put on my deodorant. Haven't these guys thought of that? I know 3 men who are avid collectors, but I'm going to talk about one. He always had a weird odor about him. I know that he showered. But the odor was still there.

I wonder if the comics soak into their skin and oozes out of their pores giving the odor. I really don't know. I know most of these men go home and read comic books all night. They don't really try to date much because it takes them away from their reading and collecting. God forbid a woman comes by and touches their "mint condition rare #1 Spiderman " comic. That would be a disaster. Plus spending money on dates will cut out of the money used to buy more books. Now, let's not talk about intimacy.

All I'm trying to say, is comic collectors need to take a break from reading comics and pay attention to their appearance and hygiene.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Saying Goodbye Is So Hard To Do

Today was the hard day for me. We had to let go of 2 people at work that I really like. This is the part of the job that I really do not like. Letting people can be so draining. You don't know how each employee is going to react. Sometimes it is deserving and sometimes it's not.

The 2 people we had to lay off today were 2 people I really liked. I didn't want to see them go. They did their job well. Well at least to me. However, they say it was a dept restructuring. It was hard for me to sit in there and give them their termination paperwork. I was literally shaking. It was a difficult. I was holding back tears. I just wanted to say "sike".

I have never really felt so bad laying off someone before. I have laid off 30 people in 1 day before. And I have fired people before. But none of those ever made me feel like crying. Yes I wanted to cry. But I was a big girl, I didn't. Am I getting sensitive in my old age? Am I cut out to be in my position? I know people will tell me to buck up & let it roll off. That's easier said than done. I have always been sensitive.

However, there is 1 girl at my job that needs to be let go NOW. Why hasn't she been sacked? I think her boss and others are scared of her. I'm actually a bit apprehensive about her myself. I call her "Columbine Girl". She's the quiet, paranoid, vindictive girl you don't want to meet. But she's still there. What can I do? This is corporate America for you.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

You Compliment Me & I, You

I was talking to my friend Tony tonight for a long time. It is rare that I talk to him for that long. He's a busy guy. But we went thru a lot of topics that got me thinking & got me wanting to blog about it. However, I want to just discuss one of them.

I was telling him that I am looking quite unattractive right about now because I finished taking out my braids. I wished I didn't have to work tomorrow. Now he was telling me that I probably still looked good. I laughed in his ear. Then he went on to tell me, that I would look good whether my hair was braided or not and that I would look good with or without clothes on. Then I definitely laughed louder. I told him he needs to keep his mind out of the gutter. He got offended. He said he meant whether I was dressed up or not. I of course gave him my signature "mm hmm". Then he complained that I didn't know how to take a compliment. Then I said he was just trying to charm me. He then said I should learn how to take a compliment.

This made me think. I've been told that before. I don't take compliments well. I never believe them. I never know who's sincere. I don't find myself to be gorgeous. I think I'm ok. I do get my share of attention. However, most times people compliment me, it's because they want something from me. I rarely get genuine compliments.

What would it take for me to believe compliments? I believe consistency without the person asking for something in return. I know that might create a monster. But I really don't know how to overcome my issue with compliments. I will give big surprise to anyone who can give me any advice on how I can start to believe in compliments.

Monday, August 13, 2007

My Ponderings for Today

I thought about Saturday again. It wasn't so bad of a mistake. I think I just blew it out of proportion. That's just like me. I get excited over something, then I blow it out of proportion. I'm cool now. I had to get it out of my system. I'm cool today. I think the excitement may have worn off. Don't get me wrong, I am still very happy that my friend came back.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

I Messed Up! I'm Such an Idiot!!!!

Why do I do this to myself?!?!?! I get back in touch with a great guy & I totally ruin any it for any long term anything. I am such an idiot.

Our movie outing on Friday was great. First we bought the tickets to the movie. Then we went somewhere to eat. After the movie we went to a pool hall. Then we came back to my place. There wasn’t a silent moment between us. The only time we were silent, was in the movie theater. We had a good time. We talked nonstop. I really enjoyed spending time with him. We picked up where we left off.

He discussed his issue with his wife. We discussed what has happened to him & what has happened to me. We discussed my best friend and her changes. We discussed everything under the sun. We flirted. We ate. We didn’t dance. However, he agreed to come with me to a wedding on the 25th and then to the beach on the 26th.

He spent the night with me for the first time ever. He’s not a bad sleeper. I could get used to it. The next morning, we woke up. I actually cooked him breakfast. After breakfast, we were talking when the people to deliver my new dryer came. He was a great help to me when they were installing.

Everything was going well. When the dryer was finished being installed, I agreed to walk him to the subway station. That’s when I messed up. As we were leaving, I told him he’s free to come here if he feels he needs to get away. He said thanks. Then I opened my big mouth and offered him a key. I do not know how or why that came out of my mouth. He was nice enough to say no thank you. I really don’t know where that came from. I think my emotions over powered me. I am so stupid.

The walk to the subway was full of conversation. The walk went by too fast. I think my head is moving too fast. Maybe I should just back off. Let things be. He has enough to go through. He doesn’t need me complicating things. I will enjoy the time we have together.

I don’t usually allow men to get under my skin. I normally have to put a wall because I get hurt so easily. I think I may put too much on things. I am just not used to too many good things happening to me.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Can Old Friendships Lead to More? We'll See

This week has been an interesting week. I am flirting with a guy from my past on Instant Messenger everyday this week. I find this strange. I haven't spoken with him in nearly 3 years. We hung out a lot in the past. He was an very interesting fella and we got along great. We definitely had great dancing chemistry. Before we lost contact, he got married and had a daughter.

Sunday night, I was home ironing some clothes. As I was ironing, I began to reminisce about those who I have met in my past and truely enjoyed being around. I thought about him. I wondered how he was doing and such. I thought about how we met, what we have done, my feelings that I had for him, and why we lost touch.

I met him at a club in NYC called Webster's Hall. He out of the blue asked me to dance. We danced for the rest of the night. We exchanged numbers, but I never called him. I had a boyfriend at the time. Neither did he. Four months later, I went to another club called Ivy. After the whack music stopped playing, my girl and I were on the dance floor partying up a storm. Low and behold, this guy start dancing with me. I turned to see who it was, the guy looked familiar. I asked him his name as we danced. When he told me I exclaimed that we had met before. He looked shocked then looked at me again. That night we exchanged numbers again. This time he called. We were nearly inseparable. He was dating some chick but we still hung out, then I started dating someone else. But we still hung out. I felt so at ease with him. I did like him, but our ships never crossed in that sense. We both were involved with other people when either of us were available. After a while, we both changed jobs. That's how we lost contact. We changed jobs and lost contact. However, before we lost contact, he had gotten married and had a baby girl.

Since Monday, when he contacted me, we've been IM'n all day at work. We made plans to see Bourne Ultimatum on Friday. We have also planned a beach trip on August 25th. Now I feel that we are moving too fast. Not that we are dating. It's just that we have not seen each other in so long. I can't fight the fact we got along so well. I miss hanging out with him. I doubt there will be anything more than a friendship with him. He is now getting a divorce. It's a process that I really don't want to be involved in. I just want to rekindle our friendship. Is that so wrong?

Saturday, August 4, 2007

The End of Potter

I just finished the last book of Harry Potter. I am so bummed. I really really liked the series. There were so many ways that the story could have continued. I would like to see what it took to rebuild the ministry of magic & hogwarts. Other bad guys to defend against. There are so many avenues to explore.

Believe it or not, I was the hesitant fan. I never knew what all the hub bub was about. My godmother read the first book and told me it was great. My best friend was also a big fan. She gave me the first book 2 years after it came out. I believe I read that book in nearly 3 days. Then I borrowed the other 2 books and read them in succession.

JK Rowling was my pusher. Never had an author since I was a kid, w/ Francine Pascal, had me hooked. I have not been that die hard of a fan to sit over night on line to get the books. But I have gotten the book within the first week of release. Book 7 is the first book that I have preordered before the release. I picked the book up on the first day. Now knowing that this is the last book I think I've going thru withdrawal. I finished the book this morning & I've been cranky all day. I have never been so miserable after finish reading a book.

I wonder if Rowling will let people write fan fiction. But no one can do it justice as she can. I can't believe how well she developed her characters' world. It was so believable. I also must commend the directors and casting agents for the movies. They did a brilliant job of making the movies as true to the books as possible.

Well it's time for me to end this rant. Time to find another book to read. I'm one of those book-aholics. It's my therapy to the real world.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Zero Tolerance is BULLSHIT!!!!

I just finished reading an article in "Reader Digest" about Zero Tolerance. The article was about this new act is lacking a lot of common sense. 5 year old boys are being arrested for sexual harrassment for pinching 5 year old girls in class. What kind of bullshit is that? Another elementary school kids said "If you don't finish the potatoes I will get you. He was arrested for making terroristic threats. LMAO!!! What the F*#k is that?

I know that Zero Tolerance was an act to keep the students & teachers safe, but they are being too ridiculus for small insignificant stuff. How are the kids above doing anything that is so wrong? 5 year olds have no idea what sex is much less what's sexual harrassment. The worst thing about all this, is that these incidents are going to stay on their permanent school records. So they will be treated as lepers & trouble makers for the rest of their school years.
I believe this act should be re-written by people who haven't lost their minds. And should be enforced with people with who has sense. I have a couple of friends who are teachers who also believe this act is being enforced stupidly. They have enough trouble trying to defend themselves against kids who falsely accuse them of having a sex or sexual relations against bad seed kids. Those are the kids who can't get their way.

It's hard being a teacher against kids who are not taught to respect their elders. I blame the parents for their kids rotten behavior. Parents need to remember that kids are not their friends, they are the kids and must be thought of in that sense. If a parent needs a friend, they need to look elsewhere, a neighbor, childhood friend. Anyway, I jumped off subject. Sorry.

Zero tolerance needs a revamp. They need to understand what is really a threat from childish pranks.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I Hate....

I'm back by popular demand, lol. I have been thinking about this blog for a while now. I just been lagging putting it up because I believe it is very controversial & may ruffle a lot of feathers. So here it is. Hate me or love me, at this point, I putting it out here.

I am tired of the these Gay Rights groups getting everyone fired. I understand they wanted to be accepted in life & society, but you can't force it. Society can tolerate you, but you can't force society to like you. There's a big difference.

You can't make anyone like you. You can't force it. A person can tolerate another person when it comes to having to work with one another. As long as the person does not discriminate, people do not have to like you.

Now for the actors & athlete's in the media that the Gay rights groups have attacked, if they truely said the "F" word, then yes, do something about it. If they said, they "hate" gays. Why attack them? You can't force theire opinion. You can't make them like gays. It's their opinion and everyone is allowed to have their opinion and they are free to state their opinion.

I do not have any issues with gay people. They do not affect my life in such a way for me to hate them. I have a few gay friends and they are genuinely nice people.

Why is it important for the world to know what happens behind a couples' closed doors? Who cares who's sleeping with whom? We all need to step back and mind our own damned business.

That's my piece. Talk to y'all soon.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007


Don't you believe Valentine's is overrated? Another excuse for corporate America to swindle you out of your hard earned money? This is the #1 theme of those people who are cheap. I don't celebrate Valentine's unless I'm in a relationship. If you are in a relationship you need to be romantic sporadically throughout the relationship, not just on one day. You don't need a day to define it. There isn't any reason to celebrate it when you are not in a relationship.

Some people make the day depress them. My best friend says she wants to hide herself that day because she doesn't want to see people all lovey dovey. I think that's just silly. But who am I to judge. To each their own. The day shouldn't depress people. It's just another ordinary day. You have to go to work on the day as any other day. If they are depressed because they are alone, they need to do something about it. Don't expect someone to fall into your lap. It doesn't happen like that in the real world. They need to put themselves out there. They will meet a lot of coal before they find a diamond. But the diamonds are sure worth the lot of coal to dig through.

Those out there celebrating Valentine's, Happy Day to you. Those who are depressed over the day, snap out of it.