Monday, August 30, 2010

Life with JH Week Ending 8/29/10

So I decided to start keeping a diary of my new life with JH. He has moved in with me on 8/23/10.

Monday he arrives with his father. He said he didn't have a lot of stuff. He LIED!!! He had a shit ton of stuff. 2 crates and a huge box of DVDs alone! He had this huge weight bench that his father had to take back with him. He had a lot of other dodads. We try to put up as much as possible. Went to bed tired as hell.

Tuesday morning I had a half day. I was trying to show him how to get around. He ended up leaving with me to work. He wanted to walk around NYC while I was at work. He ended up walking all the way to Central Park and back. He met me at my job so we can go home.

Wednesday, I remember coming home and he had cooked dinner. He cooked steak and corn. It was pretty good. The steak was a bit salty but it had nice flavoring. After dinner we decided to put up the DVDs. My cabinet now has 3 shelves dedicated to Anime and 2 to regular movies.

Thursday is a blur. I don't remember anything out of the ordinary happening.

Friday I had him meet me at work. I took him to Times Square and Union Square. We had dinner in Time Square and we also picked up our weekend passes for the New York Comic Con in October. By time we got home I was exhausted.

Saturday I took him to Borough Hall so he could take his police test. I did my taxes while I waited for him. When he was done, we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge and then took him to China Town. We got Bubble Tea. I got a very good looking iPhone case. We left so I could go do my taxes.
8-29-10 1

Sunday we went to the beach in Long Beach, Long Island. We had a good time. We took the train instead of driving. We tried this burger joint called Five Guys and it was the shiznit!! By time we got home it was after 7 and we had enough time to clean up and watch True Blood.
8-29-10 2

All in all, living wih JH so far is fun. He really hasn't encroached on my space. I'm still getting used to it. He's been very tender and gentle with me. I sometimes think to myself when will this fall apart. I can't believe I stumbled upon such a great guy. I must've done something right somewhere.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Rants and Ramblings: What's Been On My Mind

1. Teens and Adults : Leniency After Committing a Crime?
I'm tired of hearing that the courts should be lenient to those who commits a crime. I don't care if it's their 1st or 10th time. If you commit the crime you should do the time. You knew doing the act it was illegal. You had a choice whether to follow thru or not. You chose to follow thru so prepare to take the consequences.

2. Hood Rat Looking Men/Boys
If you want to continue to wear your pants hanging off your ass and looking like an ignorant fool, don't get pissed when the rest of us in society don't acknowledge you as a productive part of society. I'm all for self expression as the next person. How is it self expression when more than one of you are doing it? If a guy dressed as stated came in for an interview I would not even bother interviewing him. He is not what I would to represent my company. You look like a thug, a criminal and not worth my respect. So therefore, I will not acknowledge you. You can be a sweet guy, but your outer wear I see first. First impressions stick!!!

3. Excessive Tattoos
Yes tattoos are cool and hot. Everyone wants them. Hell, I even have one. It's not hidden but it's not very noticable. Just the way they should be. I know the history of tattoos. I also know that our youth are so into getting so many tattoos in the most awful places: necks, hands, faces. They don't think about their future. Not everyone can become rappers. Where else would hire you? Companies are not going to want you to represent them. Put the tattoos where they can be hidden at work and during an interview. No matter how popular tattoos are they still have a negative conotation in corporate America. Would want to go to a bank and the teller looks like sn ex-con? Would you want your doctor to look like that? All the people on TV with all the tattoos do not work for corporate America. But they pretty much had to own their business in order to get paid. And most of them didn't have all the tattoos when they started. They only did when their business was viable and self-sustaining. They knew they wouldn't get financing/backing if they looked like an ex-con. Banks/Venture Capitalists will not take you seriously even if you present a winning proposal in front of them. They will not get past your looks. So please keep the tattoos away from the face, neck and hands. You will be doing yourself a big favor.

4. Where have manners and courtesy gone?
Has everyone gone rude? Why aren't parents teaching their children manners and common courtesy? As a kid I was taught you must respect your elders. Kids nowadays do not. They will disrespect their own parents as well as their teachers and any adult they encounter. And the adults are just as bad.
That's all for now. I have more but they are not as high profile as the above 4. Stay tuned. You get more or maybe not. It was just good to get these off of my chest.

Monday, August 16, 2010

5 minute management lessons

Lesson 1:  
      A priest offered a Nun a lift.
      She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg..
      The priest nearly had an accident.
      After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
      The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
      The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
      The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' 
      The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
      Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
      On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' 
 
      Moral of the story:
 
      If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 2:      
       A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.   
      They rub it and a Genie comes out.
      The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 

      'Me first! Me first!' says the administration clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'  
      Puff! She's gone. 
      'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply       

      of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' 
      Puff! He's gone. 
     'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch' 
 
      Moral of the story:
 
      Always let your boss have the first say.
   

Lesson 3:
      An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
      A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

      The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' 
      So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. 
 
      Moral of the story: 
 
      To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up..
   
Lesson 4 
      A turkey was chatting with a bull. 
      'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on
     some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients..'

      The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. 
      The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.                      

      Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
      He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
 
      Moral of the story:  
 
      Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
   

Lesson 5    
      A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. 
      While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. 
      As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. 

     The dung was actually thawing him out!
      He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
     A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
     Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. 
 
      Morals of the story:
 
      (1) Not everyone who shits  on you is your enemy. 
      (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 
      (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
     

     THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE 

Catholic Schools Work


Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything... Tutors, Mentors, flash cards, Special learning centers.
  In short, everything they could think of to help his math.
 
Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him  in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother Hello.   Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.

 To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother
tried to understand what made all the difference.

 Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books.
With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.

 She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"
 Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. "Well, then," she replied, "Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?"

Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school
  when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."

The Moral of Auntie Sharon

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'

'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.

'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'

'Very good,' said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'

'That was a fine story Sarah.'

Michael, do you have a story to share?'

'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she
ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'

'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'

'Stay the f**k away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking.'

When U Black, U Black


When I was born, I was BLACK ,
When I grew up, I was 
BLACK ,
When I went in the sun, I 
stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was 
BLACK ,
When I was scared, I was 
BLACK ,
When I was sick, I was 
BLACK , 
And when I die, I'll still be 
BLACK . 
             
NOW, You 'white' folks...

When you're born, you're 
PINK,
When you grow-up, you're 
WHITE ,
When you go in the sun, you get 
RED,
When you're cold, you turn 
BLUE,
When you're scared, you're 
YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're 
GREEN 
When you bruise, you turn 
PURPLE , 
And when you die, you look 
GRAY. 

 
So who y'all be callin' COLORED Folks?

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX  
 (because they are plugged into a genius)
----------------------------------------------
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
   

(they don't have enough time) 
----------------------------------------------- 
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? 

(they don't stop to ask directions) 
----------------------------------------------- 
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? 
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
----------------------------------------------- 
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? 
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) 

---------------------------------------------- 
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? 

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 
----------------------------------------------- 
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? 

(don't know......it never happened) 
-----------------------------------------------  
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? 

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) 
----------------------------------------------- 
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'   'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'   He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'   And they say blonde's are dumb...   
---------------------------------------------   
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you....' 

-----------------------------------------------
   
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
  
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------
 

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?   
A: A rumor 
 ------- ---------------------------------------
 

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat this SOB to death.  AMEN 
 ----------------------------------------------
 

Q: Why do little boys whine? 
A: They are practicing to be men.
  ----------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
   
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. 
 ----------------------------------------------
 

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?   
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..'

Friday, August 6, 2010

New Vegas Mex

So I finally went on my vacation that I was planning for a long while. I definitely needed it. I also got to spend time with people I care about.

First stop.... Las Vegas. Originally planned because my dad was to have eye surgery done. So I planned on having to shuttle him around. However, my friend from New Mexico came too. This was the 1st time I had a "male" friend stay with my dad and myself. My dad took to him really well. He liked him a lot. I did too of course. My dad finally let me use the car. This was after months of coercision. I took my friend to the strip for 3 days. He got his fill of what the strip was about. He was amused by the porn cards being distributed as you walked down the strip. It was good times.

Next stop..... Socorro. Originally planned to spend time with my best friend from college. However, since I didn't get a response I just spent my time with him and his family. They let me stay with them. I loved his parents. They were very inviting and sweet. His mom greeted me with a hug when I first met her at the airport. They are both adorable. They are bird people which is pretty amazing. I was given a personal tour of Socorro. I was hoping I would see my college friend in my travels but no such luck. It did have me worried though. I like Socorro. I can see myself living there.

Last stop.... Albuquerque. My last leg of my vacation. My friend came with me here too. We stayed at a local hotel. He also gave me a personal tour. He had taken me to couple of really nice restaurants. One was a Japanese Hibachi Steakhouse. The other was this romantic restaurant ontop of the Sardia mountains. We had to take a tram to get there. We were supposed to go his friend's party too but he remembered I was allergic to cats. So we didn't go. Wanted him to tho since this would be the last time seeing his friends before moving to New York. Instead he stayed with me to spoil me rotten. Good times.

It was time for my vacation to end. I was not very happy about it. It felt very weird leaving. I felt as much at home in NV and NM. I even shed some tears going thru security. I didn't want to go home. Wonder what would've happened if I stayed.

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