FML Musings June 26, 2013

Here's another segment of my musings at FML. 

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

Where are the consequences for the kid? Kids are just getting bad nowadays. They have no conscience; nor do they receive any reprimand if they done something wrong. This is why society now is breaking down. Everyone behaves as if there are no consequences. Every action will have a consequence. When I read this, I automatically thought that the kid needs an ass whooping. I think the guy should've reacted automatically and gave the kid a punch. Then he would learn his consequence of his action. However, I would just press charges. Let the kid get the fear of life in him when the cops come to arrest him. 

Today, I went into labor a week earlier than expected. My husband is four hours away on business, and my sister refused to take me unless I paid her $1,000. I had to call 911 and almost gave birth in the kitchen. FML

I say that this girl's sister is a piece of shit. No matter the differences, you should be be there for family in an emergency. I can understand not wanting to deal on a regular basis. I was just shocked at this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.  Having a baby is a stressful enough time that ends in joy. The sister not wanting to be a part of that is her loss. Hope this woman just gives up trying to be friends with her sister. She doesn't seem to be worth it. Not all siblings have to get along. 

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

Really, you didn't think this will happen? Most straight men want a threesome with "2" women. They have no interest in men or to share their woman with another man. They are selfish creatures. They rather have you and another girl. So a man suggesting another man, he is trying to test his sexuality because he's already iffy about it. Threesomes do not work for committed people though. Someone is bound to feel insecure and go ape shit. They are best to have as a single person. No attachments and you can move on. (No, I've never had a threesome, for those who may think so from my comment. I don't share.)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

As I said in an earlier comment, society is really breaking down. Where is the compassion for your fellow man? The man was assaulted and the second woman couldn't assist or show any compassion? Basically, nowadays you have to just go on with your life if someone assaults you? I just can't do that. I would assist the guy and get him medical help or even call the police if he wished. What's the use to scream at him for being in my way?  Assist the person or move around them. 

My 1st Anniversary!!

So I made it to my first wedding anniversary on June 16th. I still can't believe that I'm married, yet 1 year into it. I am still very happy. However, it feels like I've been married for over 5 years. Not in the bad way though. It's more like that I am so comfortable and JH is so ingrained in my life that I can't imagine him not in it.

I never felt comfortable, so unrestrained, before him. He has gotten my trust so easily and gotten me to try daring things; stuff I would never have tried.

For our 1st anniversary, we are on a cruise. We are on Carnival Liberty. We were to stop at Cozumel (Mexico), Belize, Roatan Island (Honduras) and Grand Cayman. However due to a tropical depression (very bad weather) we lost ports Belize and Roatan Island (Honduras), but we got Ocho Rios, Jamaica to make up. It would've been nice to add another stop, though. Beggars can't be choosy. At least we got one island back in return if losing 2 islands.

In Cozumel, JH and I did an ATV excursion. We chose this package thinking that I would sit behind him as he drove. So, yeah that didn't happen. The ATV were single passenger only. Meaning I had to drive my own. I was not planning on that. Lucky I bought my license with me. So yeah, I drove an ATV. OMG it was sooo much fun!!!!! I so want to do it again. I now understand why people love motorcycles, scooters and the like. The thrill of the wind against you as you drive fast is exhilarating. However, this excursion has brought us days of suffering. We got bit by a shit ton of mosquitoes. Everytime we came to a stop, we were swarmed with mosquitoes. Our stops were not fun at all!!! After we were done, my battle scars consisted of a cut on my left pointer finger and bruise right behind my knuckle on my right hand.







I never flipped over at all. I was not placed in the back with he beginners either. Not bad run for a newbie (pat myself on the shoulder).

In Grand Cayman we chose to go on a sea trek. They put on a helmet over your head and you walk on ocean floor. How cool is that?!! Once again my expectations were dashed again. I assumed we were going to walk from at least 6ft deep waters into deeper waters. Nope! That's not what went down. We got on a boat, to bring us to another boat anchored in the ocean. People, we had to climb down a ladder on second boat to 28 ft deep water!!!!!!! I was having a slight anxiety attack so I chose to go last. As I started climbing down, my fear subsided. Once I hit the bottom I enjoyed myself immensely. I got to hold shrimp and a sea urchin. Little fish tried to get into my bathing suit. I had the best time. When it was time to go, I was disappointed. I wanted to stay longer.

On Ocho Rios, we climbed Dunns River Falls. This was not new for me. I've done it in my past, but it was new for JH. I had a great time though. We got bombarded with folks trying to sell us junk. That was the only downside of the trip.

After each excursion we went to the beach. The beach in Cozumel was the only one we didn't care for. The water smelled funny. So we ended up going into the pool there. Beaches in Grand Cayman and Jamaica were the best.

As I write this, we are on our last day at sea. We dock in Miami bright and early in the morning. Wish we could cruise a lot longer. Not looking forward to returning to the real world. Gotten spoiled on the cruise. Who's going to make up and turn down my bed everyday? Who's going to provide all three meals and snacks daily? Reality is beginning to suck.

Reality is a necessary evil though. Can't go on vacation if you don't slave away 50 weeks a year.

Congrats to JH and I for making it 1 year strong!!!

I will update this post with more pictures when I have access to them!

As our captain says, C'iao.

FML Musings June 5, 2013

I love the FML website. There are some hilarious items there as well as some boring ones. But I decided to comment here on some posts that had me ranting or commenting in my head when I read them.

"Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML"

If the above happened to me, boyfriend better not even call me. Seriously, if he has the gall to leave me in the lurch for an ex in middle of dinner, he's not worth anymore of my time. If he has some stuff at my place, I will box the shit up and drive it to his family or friend's house. Then leave him the message where to find it. No other communication needed.

"Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML"

Ooh if that was my kid. He would get such a spanking and be on lock down for at least a year. If he thought he had toys, iPad's, etc, I would donate them to the needy. His consequence for pulling crap like that. I don't plan to raise a spoiled brat, so I would not have this issue. People forget that children are not your friends. They are your child. You are to raise your child with love, discipline, and manners that would make them productive adults. When your child becomes an adult, you can be best friends. Children should know their boundaries. Enough said. I got heated when I read this, lol.

This will probably be an ongoing series.

Michael Douglas... Seriously?!

Seiously?!! Stop misleading people!!! Don't announce things without explanation. "I got cancer from oral sex."

Men have been heading south for centuries and they have not gotten throat cancer!!! What is likely in your situation, you messed with the wrong chick, who may had an infection which led to you getting one.

Oh... Ok so your press people tried to say that you contracted HPV, which led to your cancer. That falls in line with what I stated above. This is a better explanation. I can let you off the hook.

HPV is a virus wildly spread thru various acts of intercourse. The past 4 to 5 years, they have been promoting a vaccination for teenagers and kids. There's none for adults. HPV is one direct link to developing cervical cancer in women.

I believe you now Mike. If it causes women cancer it can cause you cancer. Just please refrain from saying something without proper explanations. You make yourself look like an idiot. Which results in social media blasting responses and comments about your stupidity.

Thanks for sharing though. Now I have a bad mental image of you heading down south. Ugh.. Gross.

Mrs Know It All

I have issues. I know I do. I had an epiphany this morning. An insight as to one way I alienate people. I have this flaw that if I see something incorrect I have to correct it. It makes me a know it all and it makes people keep their distance.

Last night around 2:00 am I took it upon myself to respond to an acquaintance's FB status update. It was for a Neflix show. But as read thru the comments left, I had the compulsion to correct her. I wasn't trying to prove her wrong, just wanted the facts out there correctly. 2 am is not a time anyone should comment on anything and it's certainly not a time to start an argument either. Acquaintance didn't argue back. Has she shunned me? I don't know. She's still in my friend list. So I probably didn't chase her off.

At this point, I deleted my comments because I regretted them and feel ashamed of it. I normally let my comments stay. Looking at it after the fact, I found it to not represent who I believe I am; a smart, kind and lovable person. There's always a better way l can make my point. I'm, however, the one who says what's on her mind unless it's about my feelings. I never censor unless I am trying to keep my job. But, buyer be aware, I'm a silencer on a gun. I'm very straight to the point and get what I need to say across without a loud uproar. I do on occasion take the silencer off and got off like a shotgun.

Most of my life I've been a loner. Had only a few people around me that I considered good friends. These people are still my friends and understand my compulsions, lol. We may bicker about it, but they know I am not trying to do them any harm. I think it's hard to get to know me sometimes. So in process of getting to know someone, this compulsion may pop up and then I really end up alienating and losing a potential new friend. My friend thinks it's a defense mechanism. I don't want to run people off, I want to get to know people; build relationships. So I really don't think it's a defense mechanism.

Maybe I should come with a disclaimer, "caution, will correct you if you are wrong". That way people know what they are getting into and where I'm coming from. I will try to work on this compulsion. You know I'm always a work in progress.

Review: Dead Ever After

Dead Ever After by Charlaine Harris

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



Charlaine Harris wrapped up her series nicely. The ending I expected since book 7. She did a good job. Most series doesn't give you the closure you need. However, this book closure made it as if life goes on. There will always be a world in Harris' mind where Sookie & company may return. From this book I can count 6 different spin offs that could be made without Sookie.

Good job Charlaine,looking forward to pieces (short stories) or other books that may include characters from this series.



View all my reviews

For all the detractors:
1. Sookie loves the sun, how could a relationship between Eric & Sookie last?
2. If you didn't see the ending coming, you should re-read the series.
3. Sookie does not rebound to previous boyfriends.Would you?
4. Death threats to authors are ridiculous. Let the authors move on in peace. The series was supposed to end when Bill was going to die by all the silver from the fae. Charlaine was bullied to write more books. You got a good compromise. If you miss Sookie, think up stories in your head.
5. Enjoy the book, it's not a brilliant read. It's just a good story.

The Scarest Thing This Morning.

As I am running late this morning, I get off of the 5 subway line at Atlantic Ave, making my way to the stairs to make a transfer to another train, there is a lot of commotion by one door. I automatically assumed someone was sick. I couldn't fathom something any worse, until I saw it with my own eyes. A old apparently was exiting the train and her foot slipped between the train and platform. You have people trying to hold her up so she doesn't slip down any further. You have woman screaming and running to the conductor "Stop the train! Don't move the train!"

There were enough people there to assist her so I didn't need to stop for assistance. I tried to tell people on the way down that the train won't moving any time soon due to the incident. That was my way to get people to seek an alternative route. Some people acted sympathetic and some people acted like jackasses. That's how people are; some like to be jerks than positive with a moral compass.

I am now currently on my alternate train and my adrenaline is still flowing. I want to cry for that poor woman. I wish her safety and that she will be safe and not lose her foot. I hope the MTA, NYPD, EMS and whomever comes assist her with grace and humility. She is scared and she needs to be handled with care. The rest, I leave in God's hands as I make my way to work (late).

So Much Drama

Things are happening so fast lately, I've found it hard to blog. Work has picked up to point, when I get home all I want to do is veg out. One night I left work at 10:30 pm trying to catch up. This is my first non-system related extreme overtime. I'm also down a man. So what's been going on in my brain and the world.

Boston marathon was bombed
OK this act of terror has been talk of the town. I think since being part of 9/11 I'm pretty unmoved about it. I already see evil & violence. Our world has become so violent since. It's like 9/11 broke the seal on evil. We've had the Oklahoma bomber, the crazy nut who shot Gifford, to name a few. When will all this violence end? It probably won't until we are all dead. Right now, I just want to enjoy what life I have with my family than be forever heartbroken because of the evil in the world. I may sound callous but it's what I need to remain productive and normal. I just feel bad that groups of people are blamed because of a few. Americans & people need to realize that a few people do not represent a race or religion. Just because a few Muslim radicals did evil things does not make all Muslim's evil. Learn to see the difference. Now people of Chechnya is going to feel the hate. This is just wrong. This is what nurtures the evil. I also learned that our news sources are a bunch of idiots. CNN WTF? Fox, seriously? Zooey Deschanel was the 19 year old bomber? People get your acts together.

Fight breaks out in subway car.
A fight between 2 girls broke out in the subway car I was in. It was the quietest fight I've ever heard. Wonder if the girls were trying to be classy? If so, it flew out the window when they decided to fight in a crowded subway car. It was nice to see 2 grown father figure type men break up the fight and the girls listened to them. I just don't like girls fighting each other. We have so much against us in life for us to attack each other.

Racial Slur Fetish?

Controversial letter goes viral as readers discuss ‘race play,’ a sexual fetish involving racial slurs

I'm involved in an interracial marriage. I never heard of this fetish nor has my husband. There is so much crazy fetishes out there, I'm sure I would be floored by the craziness. However, there's a paragraph in the article that was a comment to the original post.

Quote:
“There is only one reason marriages between black women and white men last longer than other marriages,” one reader opined. “Black women become submissive to white men. They view his whiteness as the ultimate validation and their half white offspring as superior to black children.”

Seriously, whoever left this comment has to be an idiot. If you have met me or any other woman in an interracial marriage, you'd know there is no submission. It is very hard to be in one (even though my marriage is not very hard). You have so many outside influences that try to tear you apart. For example, when we go out to eat, the people at the register refuse to acknowledge the we are together. I'm seriously offended by the comment than by the fetish. The commenter probably can't hold a relationship together, therefore had to make up some bullshit to make herself feel better. What it really is, that she is prejudiced. She's never been in a relationship with a mutual respect without some sort of game playing. A good chunk of men like to play games. I can go ranting on and on, but I'm going to stop here.

My friends just had a baby or having one:
So I have a few friends in the family way. Two just recently gave birth and one due in August. I am very happy for them. However, it's more pressure from mom. I do want to have a baby with my husband, but I'm scared that I may never have one. I am not jealous of my friends at all. It just makes me reflect on my life to see if I have what it takes to raise a child. I think I did a good job assisting with my brother, niece and nephew. I do have a nurturing disposition. Am I ready for one.

At one point I thought I was pregnant because my period came late. For those 2 days, I was hit with 2 emotions: fear and happiness. I was scared if I was able to carry a baby, health reasons. I was happy to be bringing a little one that was a mixture of me and my hubby into this world. I wasn't pregnant and I had a profound feeling of disappointment. I didn't really know I wanted one so badly. I just fear that when I do, they will not meet their grandparents. Plus, my age is creeping. The years to menopause are getting closer. Sometimes I think I don't I deserve a baby. I may be dealing with the karma of my past. I don't know at this point. I will just have to live happily thru my friends and their kids.

Book update:
I have printed out and saved my poems. I have started to write anecdotes to a few of them; 4 out of 40 poems. I am behind schedule a bit. I planned to publish on July 25th. I will try to uphold that deadline. Reading thru owns bring back such memories. It is a bit weird to see how I have matured. I am sure looking forward to reading more. Excitement is still here.

Later Gators.

Searching for Dracula

Ginger and her boyfriend Anthony had planned a week vacation in Transylvania. She has been wishing to go since she was a kid. She figured they'll tour the countryside where Dracula supposedly came to being.

Two days into the trip, the locals in the countryside were distant and downright rude. She wonders if somehow she or Anthony offended them in some way. Little she did she know that the town has been experiencing a rash of burgurlaries in the past month which has everyone on edge. Anthony suggested they hit up the local pub. They can regroup and plan a new course of action.

As Ginger walks in to the pub, all eyes were on her. There may have been 20 people in the pub including the staff. Ginger and Anthony head to a table in the farthest quarter and sit down. Anthony opens and spreads their map on the tabe. Ginger points to an area on the map.
"Do you think we can hit up this town tomorrow?" she asks.
"I don't see why not. It's only 4 hours from here. We can get there in no time." Anthony answers.
"I can't wait. It'll be the biggest score yet!!!"Ginger says all giddily with excitement.
"We need to find a place to sleep tonight first." Anthony says trying temper Ginger's excitement. He turns around to signal a wait staff. A grumpy old man comes up to take their order.
"Sir, by any chance do you know where we can lay our heads for the night?" Anthony asks politely.
"I only serve the liquor, if you want any other information you can ask the bartender. He will probably tell you what you need to know." The man answers.
"Thanks, I guess" Anthony says as he gets up to go talk to the bartender.
"Is there anything I can get you!" Grumpy asks Ginger.
"Oh no thanks." Ginger answers.
"Well, if you need anything, the names Vladimir" grumpy offers.
"Thank you, but I'm good" she replies.
"So what brings you into town?" Vladimir asks.
"Looking to make a huge score." Ginger answers smiling, with a dreamy look on her face.
"Score huh?" Vladimir asks.
"Yep. We just finished plotting our agenda for tomorrow. I can't wait." Ginger says. "By any chance do you know where we can find some large bags that can fit a human?"
"I don't know where you can find such a bag. If you don't want anything else, I'll be on my way now." Vladimir gruffly answers. He walks away and signals the sheriff who happened to be sitting at a table close to the bar.

Anthony comes back to the table just as the sheriff exits the pub.
"Did you order anything?" He asks.
"Nope. Did you find a place to stay? I'm a bit tired." Ginger asks.
"Yep. He said there's a little inn 20 minutes north of here. If you are ready to go." He answers as he picks up his stuff off the floor.
"Let's go babe." She says as she stands up and gathers her purse.

The 2 walk thru the bar holding hands like a couple on their honeymoon. Once they made it thru the door, they notice 3 squad cars in front and a man yelling "Freeze, put your hands up where I can see them". Anthony & Ginger drop their bags and put their hands up. They are confused as to what's going on. An officer walks up to Anthony, pulls his arms behind him and cuffs him. Another officer does the same to Ginger. Both officers leads them to the back of each squad car. The sheriff picks up the couple's belongings and follows the other 2 cars to the police station.

Once they arrived at the police station, the officers sat them down together in an interrogation room. Apparently, they only had one.

"Hey babe, do you know what's going on here?" Ginger asks Anthony.
"Nope. All I did was ask for a place to stay. Didn't know know asking questions in this country was illegal. Did you say anything out of the norm?" Anthony asks in return.

"Not really, told the waiter guy that I was excited about our trip tomorrow." Ginger answers as 2 officers enter the room.

"Do you know why you are here?" Officer #1 asks.

"I'm guessing this town doesn't like strangers I guess." Anthony shrugs as he answers.

"Oh, so you're a comedian?" Officer #2 heckles. Anthony shrugs his shoulder.

"Where were you 2 evenings ago?" Officer #1 asks.

"One a plane." Anthony answers straightfaced.

"Really? You weren't over the Mishka's house making a score?" Officer #2 asks.

"What are you talking about? We don't know who Mishka is. We were on a plane coming from the US." Ginger answered.

"From the US huh? You can't score there, so you come to our nice little town." Officer #2 chides.

"What are you talking about?" Anthony asks.

"Let's back up here, we are going no where fast." Officer #1 says trying instill some peace in the room sensing it's getting hostile fast. "So what brings you to our town?"

"We are traveling to what we believe was Dracula's birthplace." Anthony responds. Officer #2 snickers.

"Yeah, it'll be the biggest score ever!!! To actually sit where he sat! To walk where he walked!" Ginger exclaims with such excitement that the officers were stunned.

"So you are looking to steal from Dracula's estate?" Officer #2 asks refusing to recognize the innocence in Ginger's exclamation.

"Absolutely not!!! I want to see the place with my own eyes. I'm a huge Dracula fan. How can you not be, living so close?" Ginger asks feeling insulted.

"You must understand Dracula does not have the same irreverence to us as it is to you. He was a tyrant. He murdered thousands of our people. Your Hollywood has romanticized him so far from his true self." Officer #1 answers the question.

"Are we free to leave?" Anthony asks.

"Yes. Just stop calling your adventure a score. We've had a rash of robberies in town. A score here is meant as robbery. We understand it may have multiple meanings in the US. This misunderstanding has brought you here, fish out of water, wondering what you can possibly done wrong." Officer #1 responds.

"I'm sorry. Thank you very much for understanding." Ginger says.

"Thank you" Anthony says.

"We are just letting them go?" Officer #2 asks disgruntled.

"Yes. We have no reason to keep them." Officer #1 says putting #2 in check.

"You are free to go. Like I said please make sure you mind your language on your journey." Officer #1 says getting up and opening the door.

"Thank you so much." Anthony and Ginger say in unison as they walk out the door.

***** This story was created using Brainstormer App on iOS. See my review here. It gives you 3 concepts you must use together. My 3 were Transylvania, Police Station & Fish Out of Water.

The Poet In Me

I was thinking or should I say dreaming about publishing my vast amount poems. I had stopped writing poems for a while, but I have racked up a good 30 poems that reflect different periods in my life in my youth.

I was thinking in discussing the time periods for each poem. Does that sound good? Or does that defeat reading the poem? I think I should do it. I know I asked your opinion, but my gut is saying just to add my story along with the poem. They say going with your gut leads you in the correct place.

All the poems I have had copyrighted with the US Library of Congress years ago. Why did I copyright them and not put them out for the world to read? I think it's high time I release them to the world.

I do need an artist though. Someone to create an interesting cover design. I think I should ask my friend if she can. She's a wonderful artist. I need a piece that has angst, youth with artsy feel. I wish I was artsy in the sense of drawing or illustrating. I can't even use photoshop. It's beyond my analytical mind. I'm a numbers girl. My art is getting companies' and people's finances straight.

I will work the next few weeks on getting this book ready. I will also have to learn the publishing requirements for Smashwords & Amazon.com. Maybe I'll look into Barnes & Noble and Apple too. Can't be choosey.

This will be my first solo project to be published. I have written copy for my company in a TimeOut Kids magazine. My name is not mentioned there. I also was a contributor to an Anthology in 2012. I was one amongst 7 other brilliant authors. You can find the book here.

I hope this goes well. It's something that I want to do. I do get discouraged easily. I will stay on it. I will drop hints on twitter about how it's going. I will make another post about launch dates.

I will also learn how to market myself. This is something I really need to learn. This experience will teach me a lot. Experience is the best teacher.

If anyone knows an illustrator or artist, can you send me their name and email address to the email address here?

Thanks for reading. I'm pretty excited!!!
xoxoxo