Dating is a pain in the ass. I never liked it when I was single. I found dating to be a waste of time. I don't like people wasting my time is more like it. If you want to get to know me, get to know me and stop dicking around. I hate games and men love to play them. So do girls, but I'm not one of those. I'm straight to the point. However, I have friends who are still dealing with the games out there. I love to hear the stories that they go thru. It also reminds me of what I went thru too. So what I'm going to do is run thru scenarios that have happened and then give my advice/response.
"You met dude at some bar/lounge/club. You hit it off. You exchange numbers. Then you don't hear from dude for 2 to 3 weeks. He calls you at 11 pm one night. He talks to you as if y'all were tight. And then try to make a way for a hook up."
Chica, don't waste your time. If dude was interested in you, he would've called you the next day or day after. He would not try to talk you into having a booty call. He would try to get to know you. Take you out. However, dude here is just looking for a jump off. I'm sure you weren't his first pick either. He probably found your card in his jacket pocket and assumed you liked what you saw and are down to give him what he wants. Men are vain like that. If you let 'em, they'll walk all over you.
"You've been dating this dude. Nothing serious. He keeps telling you that he finds you a bit intimidating, but he doesn't elaborate on why even when you ask. He tells you he likes you and thinks there is a future together, but yet again he finds you a bit intimidating?"
This here can be 3 things. First he may be telling you to stop being bossy. He wants to be the bossy one, not you. Second, he may be used to weak women who depended on him for everything. Now you come into the picture and don't need him for everything. It's a bit disconcerting for him. He may ask himself what can he bring to the table if he isn't able to be depended on. Third, is more about him and less about you. This is his escape clause. If he leaves or doesn't call you ever again, he leaves the blame on you. He gets away scot free and you have your feelings hurt and wondering what's wrong with you. Girl, there's nothing wrong with you. He was just not for you. Trust me, there's a man out there for you. He'll make himself known when you are both ready.
"You and dude hit off well. The chemistry is there. The trust is there. Everything feels like it's in place that makes you feel like a relationship can blossom. You've met his family and he yours. However, he doesn't want a relationship with you. You have random hookups and constantly hanging out with each other."
You are not the person he wants to be serious with. You have been designated as the 'good friend that I get to bang on occasion'. There is nothing you can do to change his mind. What you can do is, stop sleeping with him and just be his friend. It may hurt that he doesn't like you the same. Once the sex stops, his behavior to you would probably not change because he still sees you as a good friend and he can get sex somewhere else. Now you will be free to meet the person who will want you to be his end all be all.
What I've learned in dating life, there are a lot more frogs than princes. You may be wading in frogs for a long time before the prince arrives. Just make sure you are open to receiving the prince. Some girls miss out on the prince because they allowed the frogs to tear them down physically and emotionally. When you do find your prince, you will look back at all the frogs you dealt with and see the difference between love and lust.
Love is a wonderful thing. It is a privilege to have. Not everyone finds it in the form of a prince. They find it in the form of family and friends. Embrace it no matter how you receive it. It changes your outlook on life for the better. Hope this post helps someone.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
It's been a while that I made a post. Life has given me a shitload of work to take care of. It makes for no mood to write. I've had urges to write some more in my novel but it left just as fast as it came. So what have I done really?
When I get really stressed I tend to want to escape reality. I do this with either immersing myself in a game or a book. What I've done was immerse myself into a book series. I started reading Jeaniene Frost's Night Huntress Series (b.k.a. Cat & Bones). I read them back to back in matter of days. I read one spin off book called Once Burned (a.k.a. The Dark Prince series). I have recently started the final Cat & Bones book but my enthusiasm has left. I don't feel much like reading a book. I've done all this on my travel to and from work. Thank goodness for public transportation.
I recently decided to take a try in selling my jewelry and other items. eBay was not a place for it. Etsy is too crowded. The easiest way so far is to try an Instagram shop. You can find mine here www.instagram.com\cleighdesigns. I got the idea from a Twitter friend (@ynotkissme). She started her own for vintage goods. I've slowly been putting up products. I haven't gotten any sales, but I really have no idea how to market it. I need followers. As I learn the ropes, I will continue to add items up with hope. Let's see how things go after a while. I'll leave it up as long as I keep my main Instagram account active.
I've embarked on a weight loss program with my hubby. We are not doing a special program like weight watchers. We are doing it using apps, videos and some of our own visions. We had a FitBit Force but we sold it before the gov't recall. We used it to track our steps, sleep and exercise. Now we just use our phone. We didn't realize that our iPhone counts our steps. It's not as completely accurate as the FitBit, but it'll do until we find another watch/band type device. Pairing these, we use the FitBit iOS app & My Fitness Pal iOS app. They are both synced together. The FitBit app tracks the steps and weight from the FitBit scale. It then sends the data to My Fitness Pal (MFP). MFP is where I have my weight loss goals. I am supposed to only eat 1440 calories a day. I log my food when I can. Since I started the program, I've lost 5 lbs. I'm doing the 1 lb per week loss. It's way too hard for any more than that. I want to eat better than anything else. It is more about portion control and regular activity.
I was talking to my friend Maha who had battled Stage 4 uterin cancer. She has changed her eating habits. I just found out that it had mastasticized to her liver and spleen. She was able to get them removed and currently in remission. She will have to get checked for the rest of her life. Her doctor told her she may need chemo for life too. She told him no. Since she changed her diet she's been doing much better and her doctor thinks so too. She plans on tweeting about her new diet on her new twitter @sounrefined. You should follow her. We also talked about her writing her biography. She has such a colorful life. She was born in Pakistan. Experienced war in her neighborhood. Moved to England. Married a diplomat. Then moved to the US. She has an adorable son (who I want to keep). I had the pleasure to meet her at my job. I'm glad I was able to meet and be friends with her. She's an awesome woman. Now to convince her to take me to Pakistan with her.
I would love to have a lot more exciting things to talk about, but I've just been so busy at work. Maybe the next post will be exciting.