Saturday, April 7, 2012

Domestic Violence is Never Okay

I've had a few weeks worth of domestic violence issues. Not in my personal life but close to home, celebrity life and in the blogosphere. It is never okay for either spouse to lay hands on each other. Not is it okay for either spouse to verbally put each other down. Warfare is not conducive to a healthy relationship. All relationships have ups and downs, arguments, and stress. Everyone is an individual. You cannot control them. Relationships are built on compromises and trust.

Approximately 3 weeks ago, my honey and I were awaken by my neighbors having a heated argument. We live in a row houses, so hearing thru the walls can be done if they are loud. They were so loud that we heard their words. The husband said he was moving out. I was pretty happy about that for reasons I do not care to share. Two days later he was still in the house. A week later, I was home alone. I had the television turned up loud when I heard blood curdling screams from the wife. That's how loud they were. So I called the police anonymously. I feel that it was the best thing to do. I wanted this man to know that it was not okay. I actually wanted him arrested. I know the wife was not going to press charges. Abused women don't until it's way too late. I just want the cops to at least have a record that they've been there before if she winds up dead.

I called my mom to tell her what happened so if I'm attacked by the spouse she knows who did it. She tells me that this has been going on for over 15 years. I was shocked. I asked her if she did anything. She said she didn't. I was shocked she didn't. She has been a nurse for over 30 years and seen what these women have experienced. She said she didn't want to be involved. How is she involved is she calls the police? Doing so could save a woman's life. I called my honey and told him what I'd done. He thanked me. I just don't understand people stance on "minding their own business" when it comes to domestic violence. I would want someone to call for me if my spouse was hitting on me. However, my honey knows that if he laid one hand on me I will tear his ass up, call the police and press charges. I don't play that.

Three years ago, Chris Brown beat the crap out of Rihanna. Her bruised face was plastered all over the news and Internet. She didn't press charges but the state did, thank God. He had probation, community service, and take anger management courses. He was also ordered to keep away from Rihanna. If she attended an award show he couldn't. It's been 3 years now, probation, restraining order and courses are done. He get a a Grammy award for his current album. Now Rihanna decides to make a song with him. Why? Money talks and personal matters walk. However, what does this message send to our young women? They will think it's okay to stay with their abusers. I agree with a blog post by Mama by The Bay. Her post speaks volumes to what I want to say. I'm just not as witty as she is.

I would like to take this post to remind all if that you see a woman or man being abused by their other half, do something. You don't have to get in middle of the conflict personally. All you have to do is call the police. Don't let violence continue to happen. Imagine that person is your child. Don't just walk away.