Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Kinky Hair

I follow the this blog/site called Beyond Black & White. It is a site that is supposed to be a community for inter-racial couples and/or informational about these type of relationships.  I stumbled upon this site probably a year or 2 after marrying my husband. So, I never received any advice from this site or any site. My marriage came naturally and some what different from the norm. However, this is not what I want to discuss.

This morning I happened to read a new post (which was posted a while ago as I don’t keep up with my Reeder too often) about whether or not White men find Black women’s natural hair attractive. You can find this article here.  I just wanted to touch base on this as to my experience on this.

As you know, or will learn, that the Black community frowns upon natural hair (Image is getting better now that it is being featured in advertising, etc). Your hair must always be straightened. We went thru so many fads and ways to keep our hair straight; perms, hot presses, relaxers, texturizers, taking an iron to the head. I, of course, tried multiple ways. At some point I stopped keeping my hair out and dealing with it. I am so not a hair person. So I would perm my hair with a veggie based perm and them go put mini braids with human hair. That was my easy go to. I was able to do what I want, which was put my hair into a ponytail and move on. Why did I perm it at all? I was ashamed of my very kinky edges and hair. I was teased about them mercilessly at a young impressionable age. My edges are stubborn and will still curl within 2 weeks of a perm. I spent so much money in my life getting my hair done. I’ve dated and been in relationships with my hair this way. Not one of my boyfriends or friends seen my hair out, except my BFF.

I met my husband while wearing my hair in braids. We had a fun and fast romance that still lasts until today (married 6 yrs +, together 8 yrs +). Initially when he moved in with me, I never thought about my hair until it was time for me to take down my braids. Like I said  before, not one boyfriend had seen my hair outside of braids. I was soooo nervous. I thought of setting him up in a hotel for 4 days while I take down my hair and get it done. I did discuss it with him that I had to take it down and was nervous to do it in front of him. He laughed and said that I shouldn’t be nervous. He wanted to see my natural hair. So I bravely took my hair down and he loved it.  I didn’t have anything to worry about. However, it took me until we were married to go natural for the second time in my life. He loved my hair then too. It is curlier than when I took out my permed hair in braids. I have very resilient 4c hair.

With being natural and taking care of my own hair my husband loved helping me take care of it. He loved to wash my hair. There is nothing more erotic than your husband washing your hair. He is one sexy man and he’s all mine. I digress. Last year Oct, I decided to loc my hair; meaning growing dreads. I discussed it with my hubby. He said go for it. At that and this point if life, my time is getting hectic and do not have time to play in my hair too much, so locking my hair was an easy solution. My hair is actually growing faster locked than out natural. It grows like weeds. My hubby now says my hair is a lot more fun now. Here's a picture of  one of my hairstyles

So, my Black women, do not let the Black Community dictate what they “assume” White men like. I am sure there are White guys who rather have there women with straight hair. However, if he loves you, he’ll love your hair anyway you have it. Just like the author of the blog post mention above, my hair never disabled me from mixing with any crowd. As long as your hair up-kept and looking well you will not have a problem. Rocking an Afro, locks, as long as it’s not messy. Not matter of race, if your is not done and messy, no one will take you seriously.  Be yourself and love your hair. If you do, so will your significant other.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Old or Different Writings

I have a total of 3 blogs. This one and 2 others that I don't post to anymore. The other 2 are strict gaming blogs.

If you are interested in reading them they are as follows.

Tigerkirara - FFXI

Tiger Kaosu - FFXIV


Blast From The Past




So I  was going through some of my old files and I stopped on a play I written during Junior High School (middle school for other states than NYC) thru the beginning of High School. It was a running soap opera. I wrote when I had time; on the bus, at home, This play is like a soap opera. It's ongoing and does not have an end. Ah teenage thoughts. I didn't write this because I wanted a tv deal or anything. I wrote it because there was a story in my head. Writing it out as a play was easier for me then than to write as a novel. I didn't want the story to end. There are so many plot lines and characters in it.

After reading thru it, I can salvage some story lines to make a novel out of it, if I want. The story was pretty straight forward without remembering anything of it. I'm good. However, what hit me first was how beautiful my penmanship was then. It was totally beautiful, but college totally destroyed it. It's nice now, but back then was great. Nowadays, you don't even have to write notes for college class. Some classes give you the notes and the rest you can just record. Technology has greatly advanced. Tools that are out here today I wish I had when I was in college, but I digress.

I noticed that for a teen going from JHS to HS I hit some heavy topics. I covered rape, pregnancy, marriage, AIDS, and serious relationships. What was I thinking back then? I must've been really deep, lol. I also thru in my love of SciFi in it. So I wasn't that deep, lmao. The whole play could've done better without the scifi piece, but I was young. I chalk it up as putting all my eggs in one basket. If General Hospital could slip in some SciFi, so could I, lol.

My naivete definitely shows up in this play. I just want to slap some sense into my then self. I actually thought folks could get great jobs out of HS without going to college. Wishful thinking of a young teen. The intricacies of serious relationships were so superficial and unrealistic. It is amazing to read something and see the thought patterns of your younger self. I have couple of couples in a relationship for 6 years and they just graduated HS. It is very rare for kids to be in a serious relationship from JHS. HS.. yes, but JHS, heck no.

This was a pleasant find. I am always looking for my past memories. I have a project with pictures. I have so many pictures. Huge project. Well that's my rambles for the day. I shall be back soon.

Monday, November 21, 2016

My New Hobby

Whenever I am stressed I like to work on intricate things. For years it was beading; the more stressed I was the more complicated the design. Then I would absorb myself in manga too. As of late, I found Nanoblocks; it's like Lego, but waaaaayyyy smaller. It is so much fun. They come in packs based on a specific design. It also comes with a build manual. So much fun. Here are some pictures of what I have done so far.




Deadpool


Hello Kitty


Charmander


Bulbasaur


Eevee



Gengar


Unicorn


Mewtwo


Japanese Shrine


Dragon


Kyoto Street


Mario


Wolverine


Magneto


Cyclops

Friday, October 14, 2016

The Accountant

I rarely do movie reviews. I tend to give away the movie instead of hinting and leaving suspense, but I have to say something about this movie. Oh my God, this movie is fucking great!!!!

You know that my main occupation is an accountant, so I had to go watch this. This movie could have gone sideways because most people think accountants are boring stuffy people. Which is a false stereotype that can be very annoying. They even played that up in the movie too.

I expected to have a more of a suspense where government tried to follow lead to apprehend said corrupt accountant or something like that. I didn't expect a semi-action film. It was AWESOME!!!!! I want to be that accountant. What school do I need to go to, to learn what he has.

A serious thought though, I believe that this movie highlighted, in a positive way, neurological and psychological issues that effect may people; autism and similar issues. They did it in a great way; the harsh and the healing.

I must say this movie blew me away. I have to stop here or I will spill the tea on the rest of this movie. It was the best movie so far this fall.


Thursday, May 19, 2016

Strawberry Letter 5/19/16






This woman is absolutely dillusional. This is what crazy is made out of.

Dear Jade,

You knew the man was married. No matter what bullshit he may say, he still married. His love is for his wife. If it wasn't, he would've divorced her. Men are very direct like that. His wife didn't put voodoo on him. He loves her and went where his heart lies. He will reconcile with her and do what is necessary to mend his marriage. You were just a mistake; a plaything he needed when he was bored and lonely. The long short of it, you got played.

Move on. Forget about him. Find someone who is single so you can direct all that crazy (you have in you) to.

Your Truly,
CCH

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Karma's a Bitch, But DAMN!!!!

At my last job, I hired an accountant to be my right hand person; let's call the accountant, Libby. I'd hired someone before her who was a total bust. So I finally get her. Then when we brought her in, she said she was pregnant. We were okay with it. She left on maternity leave and came back. All was well except personality issues with another coworker in my dept. That is acceptable as long as they get their work is done on time. I can't control people's chemistry but I can control whether they have a job or not. It's all about being professional. There were plenty of people who I didn't like at my job but I kept it professional and kept it moving.

After I left the job, I found out that Libby was bad mouthing me and saying I didn't know what I was doing. So I just removed her from working and social channels. I heard so many stories of what was going down. I chose to stay out of it. I had moved on. Until one day that I get a phone call from another former coworker who tells me a story that was unbelievable. Let's call former coworker, SoSo.

SoSo proceeds to tell me that Libby has been using corporate card and spent $12k (12,000.00) in personal purchases. But that's not all, she apparently paid herself twice thru the payroll system. But in all, she had another of my former employee in a bind where she had to leave because she was the one who brought it to CFOs attention.

This couldn't be right. It is unbelievable. So I decided to contact the former employee. She confessed the same story. She was in shambles. She says how Libby ruined her life. She was comfortable there and had a great career there. Now she's at a sucky job because of Libby. Libby was fired of course.

Eventually, I moved on from this drama until yesterday. I contacted an old coworker for some information on a vendor she used. Then she forwarded me an article about Libby. In the article, it says that Libby is charged with Grand Larceny and her trial date is set for June 1st.

This is where I am dumbfounded. I really didn't think my former company would press charges. A previous employee had stole stuff but didn't get charged. So them pressing charges on Libby is a shock. Next thing tho, she just ruined her whole entire life for $15k. She had a fiancé who makes a ton of money and a son. They just bought a house together. She is fucked in every way. If she doesn't get jail time and just probation, she will not work in accounting ever again. If she gets jail time, her son will suffer missing his mom and she still never work as an accountant for the rest of her life. If she gets off, she still will never work as an accountant for the rest of her life. Anyone can Google her name and find 2 articles on this issue. One article is in an accounting journal. She is so screwed because any job she applies for that does any search on her will see the articles and court records. It's going to be so hard for her to find a job. It's already hard for so many people and she added a strike against her name.

Now I can see if she was struggling for cash and she used the cards to buy food or stuff to live on. No she spent it on designer goods; Michele watches, $1,400 coats and bags. This is all superficial bullshit. If she wasn't happy with her salary, discuss with supervisors or find a new job. Never steal.

She is 29 years old. She has so many years in front of her that is now ruined. She stunted her career before it really got going. That is what I am more upset about too. It's just a waste of a life.

Well I always say karma's a bitch, but damn, I never thought she can be so cold hearted. People, please remember, what evil you put out, it will come back to you. So put positivity out there.



Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Some Random Thoughts

It's been a while since I wrote. Life is trying to throw my curve balls and I am trying to hit home runs out of them. I really have been lost for words at what to write. I can vent all that is bothering me, but I just don't want to make this blog into a venting blog. I want this blog to be about me and my writing.

I can rant about how there are so many stupid people in the US who ate voting for that idiot Trump. None of the other candidates are great either. No matter whom is chosen, it will be awful. The way the politics are going, we are regressing and not progressing. I can go on and on but I won't. I am trying to enjoy what time I have left in this world (hopefully another 50 years or more).

I can cast self doubt on myself by comparing myself to all who grew up with me. None of them are millionaires but they are successful in their own right. I feel like I chose a bad path. But the path I'm on brought me happiness; my husband. I just feel like I started too late. My friends have at least on child and maximum 4. Married for years. Careers established. I feel like I've been spinning my wheels inna dead end job right now. I don't even feel this is the best place for my career. My job is a post all by itself so I don't want to capitalize on it here. It sucks and that's all I'm going to say. I can just wash away these doubts and stay head fast in making my situation better. That's what I am doing.

I can complain about the state of human interaction nowadays. People today are evil. They put on anonymous airs and continue to trash one another on social media. Men are treating women like objects. Women now find it better to be superficial and fake. Everyone wants to be a trash talking ghetto woman found on shows like Love & Hip Hop, Housewives of (choose any city) or stupid shows like that capitalize on making women look like idiots. Men find it easy to sleep and impregnate and leave their women and then go bash them on social media. Whatever happened to moving on to next without having to bash your past? People today do not respect each other. I know this is not for all people out there, but there is enough of this shit going around. I am glad I'm not single. I am happy I found the best husband. He makes me very happy.

I can worry about how fast time is going by. I was planning to be published way before now. However, I don't have the luxury right now to sit and do it. I have so many things to take care of. I still have to our 2015 taxes. I have a client project to work on (need steady income). I also have to fix my house but din't have the cash to do so. I just want to say 'fuck it' and just disappear at times. There are just to many things to do and so little time. With this stress, I am having a creative block. Even my dreams are not epic as they were. I really enjoyed my dreams. Now they are kind of bland. I think I may need to get away. I need a vacation.

What I really would like to write is how excited I am about the Marvel movies coming out this year. Marvel is doing it up right. I am excited for hubby and I's anniversary trip to the Poconos. I am also excited for all of our mini trips and activities planned for the rest of the year. I look forward to some down time in the future. A dream of mine is to live in a house on the beach without the issues that come with it. A woman can dream.

Until next time.....



Monday, April 4, 2016

Death In The Family: Part Tres

This past weekend we went to my cousin M's funeral. He was 1 year older than me. Makes me think about my life. This my 3rd, 1st cousin to pass away. None of my aunts or uncles have passed but my generation is dying off. It is heartbreaking.

As you know funerals tend to be family gatherings. We tend to see relatives we normally don't see. Four out of my mom's 6 siblings came and some of their children. Like all family gatherings there's going to be drama. I expected drama. This was also a chance to introduce hubby to my mom's side of the family. He only met one cousin and one Aunt.

The drama for me was brought on by my Uncle. I haven't seen him since my cousin A's funeral. At A's funeral my Uncle had a tizzy about how the 2nd and 3rd cousins don't respect him and such. To be honest, a good chunk of the 2nd and 3rd cousins didn't even know who he was. It's not like he was around for them to get to know him. At M's funeral. I was talking to my cousin Md, introducing hubby to her and giving her our condolences. I saw my Uncle. So here how things unfolded.

Me: Hey Uncle D
Uncle D: You have an uncle?
I hug him.
Uncle D: Now, you have an uncle?
Me: Well I tried to keep in touch with you but you never responded.
Uncle D: Really
Me: I emailed you. That's the only contact info I have for you.
Uncle D: (flailing his arms) I don't do no technology crap.
Me: so how about we exchange info at end of the funeral. (Pulling my hubby close) By the way, let me introduce you to my husband.
They shook hands cordially and my uncle ran off. I didn't even see him at the end of the funeral. We did not go to the Repass (where food is served and you get to socialize) afterward.

All this happened within earshot of my mother, brother and husband. It truly irritated the shit out of me after the funeral. He was so rude and the misery coming off of his words was palpable. He was not joking or being sarcastic. My mom mentioned in car ride home that he was was mad that he didn't get invited to my wedding. None of my aunts and uncles were invited to my wedding (both sides of my family). If that was the true reason, he needs to get over it. I, however, don't think that's the case. I don't even want to bother with him any longer. He is there in title only and not relationship. I don't know I let this bother me so much to write this, but it did.

Later that night my hubby asked if my Uncle was just being sarcastic when he was talking to me. I said nope he was being rude. He was a bit shocked at the behavior. That's just my family's behavior. This drama didn't make a solemn situation any better.

Everyone's family is far from perfect. It's how you deal with them that makes you who you are.

So folks I just want to end this rant with some positivity. Treat those around you as you want to be treated. And live your life as happily and freely as you wish because you are not guaranteed tomorrow.





Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Under The Knife

  In previous post I mentioned that I was supposed to have surgery. At the end of January I finally went        
  and had it. The procedure I had is called "abdominal myomectomy". 

   "...abdominal myomectomy is a major surgical procedure. It involves making an incision through   
   the skin on the lower abdomen, known as a "bikini cut," and removing the fibroids from the wall of 
   the uterus.

    Myomectomy | Conditions & Treatments | UCSF Medical Center

    https://www.ucsfhealth.org › treatments"

    "Fibroids are abnormal growths that develop in or on a woman’s uterus. Sometimes, these tumors become quite large and cause severe abdominal pain and heavy periods. In other cases, they cause no signs or symptoms at all. The growths are typically benign (noncancerous). The cause of fibroids is unknown.

    Fibroids

    http://www.healthline.com"


    This was my first major surgery in my life. It originally felt like I was hit by a truck. I really envy mothers who've had caesarians and had to take care of their baby almost immediately. Mothers I salute you. 

    "Caesarean section, also commonly known as C-section and other spellings, is a surgical procedure in which one or more incisions are made through a mother's abdomen and uterus to deliver one or more babies.

    I've had fibroids for a while but they never really bothered me too much. It was more of an extra pressure when my hubby laid his arm on my abdomin or an annoyance when exercising. They however increased in size and I believed I gained a lot of weight. I found that they were quite large at ending of 2014 and I was contemplating what to do. They really weren't bothering me too much. My period wasn't irregular at all. 

    By the summer of 2015, it all changed. My period after so long became irregular and unmanageable. I would have to wear 2 overnight pads in the day time and change them every hour to hour and a half. I never had to deal with this before and it was quite frustrating. The first time it happened I thought it was a fluke, but it continued each month. That was it. I had to take care of this matter. I couldn't keep this type of period up. Now it was a matter of timing. 

    So I had to work this out with work. I originally wanted to take of this the week before Christmas, but it ended up a month later. So Jan 29th was the date.

    Now my thoughts about my leave. I had many of them:
       1. I can finish up my novel
       2. I can catch up with my finances
       3. I can organize my house
       4. I can work on my client's work.
    However, this healing process is something else. For first 2 weeks, my attention span was minimal. I slept a lot and could only do things didn't require brain power. It's now in my 3rd week. My concentration level has improved. Hence I am writing this post, lol. I have started point #2 but my creative side hasn't returned yet so point #1 is a no go. 

    I start back to work tomorrow, part time. I can't do full days yet. I am supposed to go to office in March. It is daunting because stairs is a kicker for me. I need to sit down after I climb or descend. Hopefully I'll be much better by then. 

    Now, let me tell you this recuperating period is not easy for the stubborn and independent. You need help. You also need to learn to ask for help. And you must accept help. This has been an internal struggle this whole time. Hopefully, going forward, it will not be an issue. I will have learned from this experience. I am also going to be in this position again if/when I have a baby. My doctor says I will have to have a caesarian section to deliver a baby. Only time will tell what will happen. I do plan to live healthily as possible. 

    If you want to learn more about my condition, you can discuss with your ob/gyn or you can google them. This is a fairly common issue. 

    Until next time....