Monday, March 14, 2011

Life Experiences

I never know if my advice is ever good, but they do come from my experiences. I'm always hard on people about getting self esteem, not wasting time and game playing. Granted those are 3 of my pet peeves when it comes to people. I have very little patience when it comes to them.

I want women to stop just taking what men are throwing out. Guys will take advantage of you if you let them. They like to have their cake and eat it. I'm saying as women you need to hold your ground and principles. Don't cave in just to make a man like you. You must love yourself and what you stand for first. If a man sees that, he'll take you seriously.

Here are 2 games men play and how to overcome it.

1. He says he loves you and yet you have never been introduced to any of his family and friends. You ask him why and he gives you all the lame excuses like "you are dating me not my friends or family" or "my children's mother doesn't want my girlfriends around her children".

Honey, if he loved you, you would meet everyone he loves. He'd want you intermixed with his circle of love. He'd want you involved in a lot of aspects in his life. He can't afford to hide you. That said, if you get the excuses you are either 2 things to him: a jump off or Miss Right Now. Neither of those are beneficial for you. You are not important to him, so he's just going to give you enough to keep you to stay with him so he can get what he wants, free sex.

What should you do if you are in this situation? The answer is easy, drop him like a bad habit. He's really not worth keeping because you are definitely not worth anything to him. That sounded tough, but it's very honest. I know and have experienced this situation in my own life.

It took him leaving the state for me to realize what was happening. I had feelings which clouded my judgement. But once he left, I felt used and hurt. He didn't even discuss his moving with me. He just told me one day and 2 days later he was gone. I'm embarrassed to say that 2 years of my life was wasted on a guy who apparently didn't give a damn. I was just not important to him.

2. He is always concerned about what other men or women are talking to you about and where you are at all times.

This could mean 3 things; he's very insecure, he's cheating or he's a control freak. Let's go one by one.

He's insecure. That means he feels threatened by all people who talk to you. It makes him feel like less of a man because in his head he's not as good as those who you talk to. Seriously, this type of guy is just a loser and you should not even bother. He's the type who can't make a decision to save his life.If you are a domineering woman, then maybe you can keep him in check. Otherwise it gets old fast.

He's cheating. He needs all the facts so he doesn't get caught. He needs to know if you are on to him, if your friends are on to him. He can also use the guys you talk to as leverage. He'll accuse you of cheating so he can justify his own infidelity. The more he knows the better he can hide his dirt. He's a snake and he's risking your life in the process. You never know what he's bringing to you.

He's a control freak. And these fools turn into abusers. He needs to control who you associate with. If he doesn't approve, he's going tell you to cease contact with them. Why? He wants to be the only influence in your life. That way he can treat you any which way he wants.

I have personally dealt with the insecure man. I've dealt with multiple of them. I don't know why I didn't learn from the first time. You always want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

If a woman is secure in themselves and have strong principles then you stand lessbof a chance to be played. Guy can be very sneaky when they want to. I know there are a lot of great men out there. But most women don't want them. They want the "bad" boy. With the "bad boy comes the game playing. It's part of the territory. Keep your eyes open and make your principles known. With that you will find the guy who will treat you well.

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