I'm Tired

I'm tired. What am I tired of? This post is me letting iff some steam. If you can't handle negativity, then this post is not for you. I need to vent and this is my forum to do so.

I'm tired of the degenerates, street trash, hoodrats, jackasses that hang out at the corner of blocks (ones that have a bodega on them). I'm tired of the folks who condone their behavior. I'm tired of the people who created this issue in the first place. I'm tired having to avoid people just to get home. I wish I had the power of judge and jury because I would send everyone of them to death row. I'm tired of being harassed by them because I refuse to acknowledge them. Why do I have to acknowledge street trash? Find someone else to peddle your illegal wares.

I'm tired of bosses who don't know how to talk to people appropriately. I'm tired of busting my ass without fair pay. I'm tired having to take shit from assholes. I'm tired having to chase people to make a decision when they want to be the person to make the decision. I'm tired of people taking my silence as ignorance. I'm very aware of what's going on around me. I just CHOOSE not to say anything until I'm fed up. I am not taking responsibility for anyone's incompetence.

I'm tired of bullshit over interracial relationships. I'm tired of people asking me if my husband is a freak as if White men all have wierd fetishes. I'm tired if Black men thinking that I'm not satisfied by my husband because he's White. I'm tired of Black men think they have the gal to try to step to me the minute my husband moves away. I have no interest in you. I'm FUCKING HAPPILY MARRIED! I'm tired of Black women asking me why I didn't marry a Black man. Seriously? Why can't I date and marry whom I love? I've dated tons of Black men. They weren't the one who captured my heart. I have very little patience for bullshit. Sorry, a lot of Black men like to bullshit. I've dated Latin men to. Same story. I've also dated White men. Same story. Dating men in General has a lot of bullshit that I don't have patience for. I'm tired of people telling me that my marriage won't last because we come from 2 different worlds. Fuck you!! I want all these negative nelly's to get the hell away from me before I give them a once more.

If you read this post. I'm sorry for the negativity and vulgarity. I just had it up to here (imagine my hand above waving above my head). Thank you tho for listening (reading).

Chris Dates a Black Girl

Sunday night I was watching a new Episode of Family Guy on Fox. It was a very thought provoking episode, hence this blog post. In this episode, Chris starts dating Jerome's daughter. If you don't know Family Guy, Chris is a White Kid and Jerome is Black which makes his daughter Black.

I'm all for interracial couples, especially ones that matches my own relationship. So I am going to briefly summarize this episode with commentary in italics.

Jerome's daughter started going to Chris' school. He meets her, talks to her, falls for her. *Chris is actually seeing her for herself not her skin color.* He brings her home to meet his family. The first thing is Peter says is he wants to see Chris in the kitchen. *I was preparing to be pissed off now.*
Peter says he thought Chris would bring home hugely fat woman. Then it cuts to a scene where Peter is directing a huge women to back up into a garage. *The fat woman issue will be another post, but what I loved about Peter's reaction is that he saw nothing wrong with this relationship.* Peter then rushes them both back into the living room because Lois maybe listing off all the Black people she knew. *I don't find this part racist. Lois is ignorant.*
After the visit, Peter, Chris and his girl go to the Clam which Jerome owns. Jerome forbids Chris & his daughter to date. It upsets Chris, his daughter and even Peter. *Why is Jerome so mad about this? Is it because it's Chris or is it his race?*Chris and his girlfriend run away to be together. Now Peter and Jerome are looking for the kids. Jerome tells Peter all the hardships of being Black and experiences some of the racisms Blacks have to endure on a regular basis. *Being a stupid person, Peter actually gets it. * They find Chris and daughter in a hotel room in bed. All they were doing was kissing. Jerome tells her that no daughter of his is dating a White Guy is plain disrespectful! Peter then asks how he felt about a Black guy dating a White woman. Jerome says that 'glorious heaven'. *Seriously? I'm pissed now. It's disrespectful for a Black girl to date White but okay for Black guy to date White? How dare Seth McFarlan agree with stupid ignorant Black folks on this topic. Is he racist himself?* Peter then tells Chris in a long drawn out over the top explanation that they had to respect Jerome's stupid wishes and that Whites need to only date Whites and never should races mix. Then Jerome's daughter asks him is this the lesson he wants her to learn. Jerome sees the error of his ignorant thinking and apologizes. *Hallelujah McFarlan saved his ass right there. I so was going to light up message boards, his Facebook page his twitter feed. The works.* So Chris and his girl gets to stay together. *I hope to see this relationship blossom on the show, but I'm sure it was just for an episode.*

This episode was a good one. Family Guy usually exasperates stereotypes to the fullest no matter of race or religion. But this episode by the end I think was a good episode, pushing BW/WM relationships as a normal in society's eyes. I hope to see more shows focus on positive looks and relationships for BW/WM.

20 Facts About Me

My HS friend Dionne is doing a blog challenge for 100 days. In last night's post she did 20 Facts About Me. So I decided to try it. This may be a daunting task since I am pretty quiet about myself. I'd rather sing the praises of others like Dionne. I admire her tenacity. So here is my attempt.

1. Was born in Brooklyn NY

2. I'm a middle child. I have an older sister and a younger brother.

3. I am currently married. If you knew me in my 20s and younger, you'd know that this is out of character for me. However, marriage seems to suit me.

4. I am highly sensitive. I don't act like it when you meet me. I internalize things and get bent out of shape in my head or when I'm by myself.

5. I don't like to share a lot. This is an admission I never really told people. Being a middle child you got hand me downs and then had to had down again. I never really got to keep much for myself. Hence, why I don't like to share. But, over the years I have gotten better at sharing.

6. I take care of others better than myself. I am currently trying to take care of myself more.

7. I am stubborn. I will admit that. I'm set in my ways. I get it from my parents.

8. I don't like to be rushed. I will slow down even worse just to spite you.

9. I don't like anyone in my personal space. I get very irritated if someone's in it. Why do I live in NYC?

10. I love curling up with a good book. You can find me in a corner, curled up with my iPad.

11. I like playing video games even though lately it's been regulated to my iPhone only.

12. My favorite and spirit animal is the Tiger. Can't you tell from my blog's name? My aim name? My email address?

13. I am an accountant by trade. But I'm so much more.

14. I've lived in California for 8 years. I hated living there when I was there, but now I kind of miss it.

15. I don't take rejection well. But I do use it as strength to prove you wrong.

16. There are days where I just want to be in my own world. Don't want anyone talking to me. Just me, the couch and my thoughts.

17. I have OCD when it comes to papers. I don't like other people writing on my documents. It bothers me to no end.

18. I HATE the cold weather. Give me 80 degrees & more any time. I can also do without the humidity.

19. I'm a gadget-aholic. I love gadgets.

20. I so want to be a vampire!! I don't want to die. I want to live forever. I think I would be a good vampire. I'd just feed off of the wicked & leave the innocent alone. In this world, I wouldn't starve.

Do you think you can list 20 things about yourself?

Worst Date In History

So I was listening to the 102.7 FM radio show the other morning. They were asking people to call in and tell them their worst date ever. So instead of calling in, I decided to write it down here for you. I am due for a post anyhow. So here it goes.
When I lived in California I didn't have a car. You needed one to get around. So I had to ask my dad to drive me around. He wouldn't let me use his car. This is a bit of back history before I delved into the story.
I met this dude. I don't remember his name, so let's call him Baka (idiot in Japanese). So, I met him at a work party. He didn't work at my company, but was a coworker's friend. We hit it off pretty well. By end of night we had exchanged numbers and he was drunk off his ass. I was sober. I don't really drink.
Two days later, Baka called me and we spoke for a while. He seemed like a good guy who partied hard. I'm not that fond of hard partiers. He invited me on a date to a friends birthday gathering. I accepted with a condition: no getting drunk. He agreed with the terms.
Saturday afternoon he calls says he couldn't make it to Oakland to pick me up because he was still doing finishing touches on his friend's birthday celebration. I told him I'll find a way there. My dad ended up driving me to the farthest part of San Francisco (don't remember the neighborhood name, maybe Sunset Park?). We met Baka outside. My dad asked if he needed to pick me up. Baka said he'll drop me home. They shook hands and my dad left.
Baka introduced me to his friends. Then I found out that the celebration was on a party trolley (like a party bus but on a cable car instead). Warning signs started to rear its head. So when we get on the trolley, I reinforced my thoughts to Baka. He said he wasn't going to drink at all. How was it, by time the trolley brought us back to the house, Baka was drunk off his ass.

Fuck me. Now I'm in middle of San Francisco I am not familiar with and my dad is not answering his phone. Fuck. So, Baka suggests I drive his "whip". I didn't know what his whip was until I saw this huge GMC SUV/truck. My mouth literally dropped when I saw it. I am 5'4". That monster was made for tall folks. I needed help getting in the truck. He gets in the passenger side. My head barely made it over the steering wheel. I had to adjust everything so I can see. I asked one of his friends how to get to the Bay Bridge.
Okay so now I'm on my way home. I got slightly turned around a bit in SF, but managed to get on the bridge. If you don't know, this bridge is 8 miles long. I'm in the right line driving because I'm not to comfortable driving this beast.

Here comes the best part of the trip. Baka asks me if he can smoke some weed while I drove. I screamed at him and said HELL NO!!! He bitched and moaned but he complied with my request. Just after that conversation, I checked my rear view mirror to see at least 3 cop cars behind me. Holy shit!! If dude lit one up, my ass would've been arrested on the spot!!!! Luckily after I got off the bridge, the cop cars turned off somewhere. I made my way home. Now the block I lived on was a 2 way but you can only park on one side. If you parked on the wrong side, it's instant towing. So I parked his vehicle in the worst part of the wrong side of the road. At this point, his ass was snoring. I shoved him to wake him up gave him his car keys. I got out of his car, went to my apartment and went to bed.
I didn't hear from Baka for another 2 days. He spoke as if nothing happened. I told him to lose my number.
This date goes down As the worst date in my history. I will always remember this day until the day I die.

The Scenario Part 1

Dating is a pain in the ass. I never liked it when I was single. I found dating to be a waste of time. I don't like people wasting my time is more like it. If you want to get to know me, get to know me and stop dicking around. I hate games and men love to play them. So do girls, but I'm not one of those. I'm straight to the point. However, I have friends who are still dealing with the games out there. I love to hear the stories that they go thru. It also reminds me of what I went thru too. So what I'm going to do is run thru scenarios that have happened and then give my advice/response.

Scenario #1
"You met dude at some bar/lounge/club. You hit it off. You exchange numbers. Then you don't hear from dude for 2 to 3 weeks. He calls you at 11 pm one night. He talks to you as if y'all were tight. And then try to make a way for a hook up."

Chica, don't waste your time. If dude was interested in you, he would've called you the next day or day after. He would not try to talk you into having a booty call. He would try to get to know you. Take you out. However, dude here is just looking for a jump off. I'm sure you weren't his first pick either. He probably found your card in his jacket pocket and assumed you liked what you saw and are down to give him what he wants. Men are vain like that. If you let 'em, they'll walk all over you.

Scenario #2
"You've been dating this dude. Nothing serious. He keeps telling you that he finds you a bit intimidating, but he doesn't elaborate on why even when you ask. He tells you he likes you and thinks there is a future together, but yet again he finds you a bit intimidating?"

This here can be 3 things. First he may be telling you to stop being bossy. He wants to be the bossy one, not you. Second, he may be used to weak women who depended on him for everything. Now you come into the picture and don't need him for everything. It's a bit disconcerting for him. He may ask himself what can he bring to the table if he isn't able to be depended on. Third, is more about him and less about you. This is his escape clause. If he leaves or doesn't call you ever again, he leaves the blame on you. He gets away scot free and you have your feelings hurt and wondering what's wrong with you. Girl, there's nothing wrong with you. He was just not for you. Trust me, there's a man out there for you. He'll make himself known when you are both ready.

Scenario #3
"You and dude hit off well. The chemistry is there. The trust is there. Everything feels like it's in place that makes you feel like a relationship can blossom. You've met his family and he yours. However, he doesn't want a relationship with you. You have random hookups and constantly hanging out with each other."

You are not the person he wants to be serious with. You have been designated as the 'good friend that I get to bang on occasion'. There is nothing you can do to change his mind. What you can do is, stop sleeping with him and just be his friend. It may hurt that he doesn't like you the same. Once the sex stops, his behavior to you would probably not change because he still sees you as a good friend and he can get sex somewhere else. Now you will be free to meet the person who will want you to be his end all be all.

What I've learned in dating life, there are a lot more frogs than princes. You may be wading in frogs for a long time before the prince arrives. Just make sure you are open to receiving the prince. Some girls miss out on the prince because they allowed the frogs to tear them down physically and emotionally. When you do find your prince, you will look back at all the frogs you dealt with and see the difference between love and lust.

Love is a wonderful thing. It is a privilege to have. Not everyone finds it in the form of a prince. They find it in the form of family and friends. Embrace it no matter how you receive it. It changes your outlook on life for the better. Hope this post helps someone.

It's Been a Long Time....

It's been a while that I made a post. Life has given me a shitload of work to take care of. It makes for no mood to write. I've had urges to write some more in my novel but it left just as fast as it came. So what have I done really?

When I get really stressed I tend to want to escape reality. I do this with either immersing myself in a game or a book. What I've done was immerse myself into a book series. I started reading Jeaniene Frost's Night Huntress Series (b.k.a. Cat & Bones). I read them back to back in matter of days. I read one spin off book called Once Burned (a.k.a. The Dark Prince series). I have recently started the final Cat & Bones book but my enthusiasm has left. I don't feel much like reading a book. I've done all this on my travel to and from work. Thank goodness for public transportation.

I recently decided to take a try in selling my jewelry and other items. eBay was not a place for it. Etsy is too crowded. The easiest way so far is to try an Instagram shop. You can find mine here www.instagram.com\cleighdesigns. I got the idea from a Twitter friend (@ynotkissme). She started her own for vintage goods. I've slowly been putting up products. I haven't gotten any sales, but I really have no idea how to market it. I need followers. As I learn the ropes, I will continue to add items up with hope. Let's see how things go after a while. I'll leave it up as long as I keep my main Instagram account active.

I've embarked on a weight loss program with my hubby. We are not doing a special program like weight watchers. We are doing it using apps, videos and some of our own visions. We had a FitBit Force but we sold it before the gov't recall. We used it to track our steps, sleep and exercise. Now we just use our phone. We didn't realize that our iPhone counts our steps. It's not as completely accurate as the FitBit, but it'll do until we find another watch/band type device. Pairing these, we use the FitBit iOS app & My Fitness Pal iOS app. They are both synced together. The FitBit app tracks the steps and weight from the FitBit scale. It then sends the data to My Fitness Pal (MFP). MFP is where I have my weight loss goals. I am supposed to only eat 1440 calories a day. I log my food when I can. Since I started the program, I've lost 5 lbs. I'm doing the 1 lb per week loss. It's way too hard for any more than that. I want to eat better than anything else. It is more about portion control and regular activity.

I was talking to my friend Maha who had battled Stage 4 uterin cancer. She has changed her eating habits. I just found out that it had mastasticized to her liver and spleen. She was able to get them removed and currently in remission. She will have to get checked for the rest of her life. Her doctor told her she may need chemo for life too. She told him no. Since she changed her diet she's been doing much better and her doctor thinks so too. She plans on tweeting about her new diet on her new twitter @sounrefined. You should follow her. We also talked about her writing her biography. She has such a colorful life. She was born in Pakistan. Experienced war in her neighborhood. Moved to England. Married a diplomat. Then moved to the US. She has an adorable son (who I want to keep). I had the pleasure to meet her at my job. I'm glad I was able to meet and be friends with her. She's an awesome woman. Now to convince her to take me to Pakistan with her.

I would love to have a lot more exciting things to talk about, but I've just been so busy at work. Maybe the next post will be exciting.

Review: To Paris with Love

To Paris with Love by Carl Weber

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



So I have all of the family business books. This book is supposed to take place in Paris' past. So I am going to reveal my thoughts on characters.

Paris: I don't like to deal with spoiled ass brats especially hardheaded ones. Paris I would never be friends. I'd try to beat the shit out of her all the time. Her character is hard for me to read. I have a similar distaste to her sister London.

Rio: I always love Rio. He is one of the endearing character. He's wild but he has sense. He listens. He may not like it, but he takes it to heart.

Okay, so here's my review.

Beginning of the book begins in the present when Paris heads to Europe for a friend's wedding where she spots an old enemy. She proceeds to tell her friend the story of the situation between her and the enemy.

The book is not written as a reflection as Paris telling a story. It is written as a standard, typical novel. It should've been if you start out a book saying "girl let me tell you what happened." I expect it all to be from Paris' point of view.

The story and romance was good. I enjoyed it greatly. I even dreamed of the story. There are a lot of issues going on that keeps the story on its toes. The characters are well written. There were moments in the book that were confusing; so I had to re read the chapter because one sentence thru it off. No sweat since the chapters are small.

One thing that was really good was the imagery. I was able to imagine the Spanish farm/countryside, the yacht party and the hotel suites. Like most books from Carl Weber, there was plenty of sex. I am just curious of how Weber knows the sensations if sex from a woman's point of view.

My big disappointment was the end. There wasn't a wrap up. Remember at the beginning she was in the airport in the present? Well it should've ended there. Wanted to hear her friend's opinion and whether the enemy saw them or not. Weber could've just tied the story up. Instead he just kills off dude and that's it. No repercussions. No enemy screaming bloody murder. Enemy really didn't fuck up her family as she stated in the beginning of the book. She stopped any issues getting to them in the end.

All in all the story was a great read, but it had some glaring (in my opinion) inconsistencies. It is worth the read.




View all my reviews

Stop Dream Stalking Me, Rock

"Don't forget we've got another Barmitzvah to go to tonight" I yell to Jason from the bathroom.
"We sure have a lot of these to go to. We'll be broke by time the month ends." Jason gripes.
"That's not true." I laugh.

After a while, we are dressed and walking to our destination.

"Don't forget this is a special Barmitzvah. They will have Sari's to buy. I love Sari's." I say as we approach our destination.
"Are you saying that we should go home so you can't buy any more Sari's!" Jason says.
"Don't be silly. Let's go!!" I say grabbing his hand and pull him to the door.

We are ushered to our seats. We see a wall full of Sari's. I notice 3 that I absolutely love. I was so fascinated that I didn't notice that someone sat down next to me. Jason leaned over to tell me the The Rock is sitting next to me. That brought me out of my trance and into the reality of the situation.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss at The Rock.
"I'm enjoying a Barmitzvah and sitting down next to a sexy woman." The Rock answers back.
"You know him?" Jason asks.
"Yes she does. We enjoyed 2 wonderful years together." The Rock answers before I do.
"He was my last boyfriend before you. We broke up maybe a year before I met you." I answer Jason. Then I turned towards The Rock.
"Really, Dwayne? Why are you really here?" I ask him.
"I missed you." Rock replies.
"Too bad. I'm married." I flaunt my ring in front of him.
"Does it look like I care. I'm sure I can win you back." Rock says with bravado.
"I have no interest. I love Jason. And I won't do anything to hurt him. So you need to find another one of your exes to stalk."
"I want you."
"I don't." I turn to Jason, "let's switch seats."

We move 2 rows down as they started the sale for the Sari's. They picked up one of 3 I liked. I raised my hands to buy it. They lady came over to me and gave it to my neighbor who happen to be the Rock, again.

"Stop following me!!!!" I exclaim a little to loudly. I turn to Jason. "I just can't win. Sorry babe for all this."

"I didn't know you date The Rock. You are full of surprises. But it is what it is. We'll be home soon." Jason answers.

I put my attention back on the sari sale. I was able to purchase the other 2. Then the DJ called for all husbands to go on stage for some special entertainment. I really didn't want Jason to go. I told him my feelings.

"I wouldn't even be able to take him if it were to come to blows. I trust you." He says as he leaves for the stage. I stand up to follow him. As I stood facing the stage The Rock comes and stands next to me.

"I'll give you this sari if you will admit that all the sexy nights in Havanna meant something to you." The Rock bargains.
"It did at that point of time. I am now happily married to Jason. What we had was in the past." I answer.
"Okay. Good to know that You did have feelings for me. I can see that I thave no chance, but a guy had to try. Here's the sari." he hands me the sari and salutes Jason on stage.

As he leaves, he bends over and whispers "you'll be mine one day" and walks out.

2013 is Gone. What's on The Agenda 2014?

2013 came and went like a blur. I was so busy with my job that I really didn't get to accomplish what I really wanted. I know I shouldn't let job consume my life, especially when they don't pay what I'm worth. But there were highlights and low lights for the year.

Highlights of 2014

1. I had my 1 year anniversary with my husband. I still can't believe that I have a husband much less being 1 year deep. So for our anniversary, we took a cruise to Jamaica, Cozumel and Grand Cayman. But first we stopped by my dad's place so we could eat our top layer if wedding cake, like tradition.
2. We taken a short trip to Florida to spend with my mom and the beach. We actually left the airport and went straight to the beach. We made couple beach stops which granted us 2 stops at Joe's Crab Shack. Eating Joe's after the beach is an awesome compliment to the day. We met up with family and friends. My aunt and my mom's friend were postering who's favorite I was. Lol, never seen grown women act that way before. It was an experience.
3. We took a trip to New Mexico to visit Jason's family. Had a good time except for one day (see this post). We went to Santa Fe, the State Fair and I got my iPhone 5S. Didn't have to wait in a line like I would have to in NY. Jason got to order his because they didn't have the unlocked version yet. It was great seeing Jason's family. They are great. I couldn't ask for more. They have accepted me totally.

There really isn't any more highlights. I was spending my life working & stressing. So with that note, let's get into the lowlights of the year.

1. Lost a 20 year friendship over bullshit. (See point #3 above)
2. Spent hours of overtime at work that I will never get back or get compensated for. Frankly, I'm not appreciated. However, unless you are the CEO/President are you really?
3. My father had a stroke and I couldn't be there for him. Reason? Work wouldn't let me off and my father being stubborn and not wanting me to see him ill. Makes me realize that time is running out for my parents. They are getting to the age where anything can happen and both of them are sickly.

What do I expect in 2014? I do expect some changes big and small. So far the following are in the works:

1. Planning a 14 day cruise with my mom to Asia. Leaves Japan and ends in Singapore. I'm excited about this. The only things that would prevent this would be pregnancy and death.
2. Building my website this year for my personal consulting business; C Leigh Consulting. My company services are tax, accounting and minor computer services. I am looking forward to this site. I used to have one on Google Apps and they discontinued their services, as usual.
3. Building my company. Hoping to really expand my company. So a good focus is needed. I have 2 clients that need data entry currently. One can't be done on a regular basis. Other is starting to need to, but not enough to be my sole bread winner.
4. I also want to get these stories out of my head and onto paper (more like book). I don't want to leave this earth without getting them down. So I am going to try to write more.

Well 2014 is going to be a year of changes; good or bad. One thing for sure I'm going to live it to the best with the people who live and support me. What do you want to accomplish in 2014?

2013 Wrap Up

2013 was an interesting year for gaming and app use. I certainly started off the year gung-ho but lost steam thru-out the year due to work and stress-related laziness. So let's see what I've accomplished then move on to what I want to accomplish.

Let's start with the 2013 wrap up.

1. I bought and got swept up in Pokemon X. I finished the game around New Years. By the way, this is the 1st game I have completed in entirety on the 3DS.
2. I'm still playing Simpsons Tapped Out steadily. I finally completed 2 out many seasonal events (Thanksgiving & Christmas)
3. I did not run out and get a Wii Universe, PS4 or an Xbox One. I don't play many console games.
4. Got my character on FFXIV to level 20. Got my ass handed to me on my level 20 lancer guild quest. Currently lost in the outskirts of Uldah. On my way to getting to Ifrit dungeon. Not fond of dungeons. Would rather do quests and fates.
5. I have started FFIII and FFIV on my iOS devices. I like IV better than III tho.

Now that we wrapped up 2013, what do I want to accomplish in 2014? Let's see...

1. Waiting for PokeBank and PokeTransporter to hit the eshop on the 3DS. It was supposed to come out on Dec 27th, but it hasn't shown itself yet. Once it does, I will transfer my collected Pokemon there.
2. Plan on leveling Dragoon to Level 50 in FFXIV. This is a very loose goal since I don't play very often. Hope they introduce Red Mage. That's favorite FF Job Class.
3. Wishing and waiting for a new Pokemon game. Don't know how often they release games. But I hope for a new one soon.
4. Go back to Pokemon Black 2 and finish it while collecting more Pokemon.
5. Complete FFIV on my iPhone.

I will try to make more time in 2014 to review more games and apps. I have tried so many during 2013 that I really should write about them. It is a goal that I may not accomplish, but I will try my hardest. Wish me luck for being more productive in 2014.

Happy New Year!!