Dating is a pain in the ass. I never liked it when I was single. I found dating to be a waste of time. I don't like people wasting my time is more like it. If you want to get to know me, get to know me and stop dicking around. I hate games and men love to play them. So do girls, but I'm not one of those. I'm straight to the point. However, I have friends who are still dealing with the games out there. I love to hear the stories that they go thru. It also reminds me of what I went thru too. So what I'm going to do is run thru scenarios that have happened and then give my advice/response.
"You met dude at some bar/lounge/club. You hit it off. You exchange numbers. Then you don't hear from dude for 2 to 3 weeks. He calls you at 11 pm one night. He talks to you as if y'all were tight. And then try to make a way for a hook up."
Chica, don't waste your time. If dude was interested in you, he would've called you the next day or day after. He would not try to talk you into having a booty call. He would try to get to know you. Take you out. However, dude here is just looking for a jump off. I'm sure you weren't his first pick either. He probably found your card in his jacket pocket and assumed you liked what you saw and are down to give him what he wants. Men are vain like that. If you let 'em, they'll walk all over you.
"You've been dating this dude. Nothing serious. He keeps telling you that he finds you a bit intimidating, but he doesn't elaborate on why even when you ask. He tells you he likes you and thinks there is a future together, but yet again he finds you a bit intimidating?"
This here can be 3 things. First he may be telling you to stop being bossy. He wants to be the bossy one, not you. Second, he may be used to weak women who depended on him for everything. Now you come into the picture and don't need him for everything. It's a bit disconcerting for him. He may ask himself what can he bring to the table if he isn't able to be depended on. Third, is more about him and less about you. This is his escape clause. If he leaves or doesn't call you ever again, he leaves the blame on you. He gets away scot free and you have your feelings hurt and wondering what's wrong with you. Girl, there's nothing wrong with you. He was just not for you. Trust me, there's a man out there for you. He'll make himself known when you are both ready.
"You and dude hit off well. The chemistry is there. The trust is there. Everything feels like it's in place that makes you feel like a relationship can blossom. You've met his family and he yours. However, he doesn't want a relationship with you. You have random hookups and constantly hanging out with each other."
You are not the person he wants to be serious with. You have been designated as the 'good friend that I get to bang on occasion'. There is nothing you can do to change his mind. What you can do is, stop sleeping with him and just be his friend. It may hurt that he doesn't like you the same. Once the sex stops, his behavior to you would probably not change because he still sees you as a good friend and he can get sex somewhere else. Now you will be free to meet the person who will want you to be his end all be all.
What I've learned in dating life, there are a lot more frogs than princes. You may be wading in frogs for a long time before the prince arrives. Just make sure you are open to receiving the prince. Some girls miss out on the prince because they allowed the frogs to tear them down physically and emotionally. When you do find your prince, you will look back at all the frogs you dealt with and see the difference between love and lust.
Love is a wonderful thing. It is a privilege to have. Not everyone finds it in the form of a prince. They find it in the form of family and friends. Embrace it no matter how you receive it. It changes your outlook on life for the better. Hope this post helps someone.