Sunday, August 12, 2007

I Messed Up! I'm Such an Idiot!!!!

Why do I do this to myself?!?!?! I get back in touch with a great guy & I totally ruin any it for any long term anything. I am such an idiot.

Our movie outing on Friday was great. First we bought the tickets to the movie. Then we went somewhere to eat. After the movie we went to a pool hall. Then we came back to my place. There wasn’t a silent moment between us. The only time we were silent, was in the movie theater. We had a good time. We talked nonstop. I really enjoyed spending time with him. We picked up where we left off.

He discussed his issue with his wife. We discussed what has happened to him & what has happened to me. We discussed my best friend and her changes. We discussed everything under the sun. We flirted. We ate. We didn’t dance. However, he agreed to come with me to a wedding on the 25th and then to the beach on the 26th.

He spent the night with me for the first time ever. He’s not a bad sleeper. I could get used to it. The next morning, we woke up. I actually cooked him breakfast. After breakfast, we were talking when the people to deliver my new dryer came. He was a great help to me when they were installing.

Everything was going well. When the dryer was finished being installed, I agreed to walk him to the subway station. That’s when I messed up. As we were leaving, I told him he’s free to come here if he feels he needs to get away. He said thanks. Then I opened my big mouth and offered him a key. I do not know how or why that came out of my mouth. He was nice enough to say no thank you. I really don’t know where that came from. I think my emotions over powered me. I am so stupid.

The walk to the subway was full of conversation. The walk went by too fast. I think my head is moving too fast. Maybe I should just back off. Let things be. He has enough to go through. He doesn’t need me complicating things. I will enjoy the time we have together.

I don’t usually allow men to get under my skin. I normally have to put a wall because I get hurt so easily. I think I may put too much on things. I am just not used to too many good things happening to me.

1 comment:

TYGAH "Sabre" said...
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