So I watched Think Like a Man for the second time. It was on TV and I was trying to multi-task. I saw it in theaters originally. I liked the movie a lot. It was a good adaption from a self help book.
The characters were well put together based on the stereotype role in the book. You have the dreamer, player, mama's boy, single mother, career focused to name some characters. The characters are extreme versions of the role. But let me tell you what struck me this time.
Before my husband, I was the extreme version of "career focused". I didn't want a man at a lower level than me. He had to bring the same to the table. So while I was waiting for "Mr Equal" I was messing with less than. I was solely focused on money and not character. I wasn't putting myself in the environment where I could find them. So in actuality I was not helping myself. I was becoming bitter and crabby that I couldn't find my equal. I was Taraji Henson's character.
I had the definition of Mr Equal wrong. The incorrect definition was:
- a man whose salary was comparible to mine or more
- a man who worked Wall Street or a top bank professional
- a man who can take care of his own without asking me to loan him some money.
There was nothing in that definition about my current version of the New Mr Equal:
- a man who puts me first
- a man who loves me
- a man who will protect me
- a man I have a lot of things in common with
- a man I can be completely myself around
I can keep going on with this definition, but I don't have the room. Don't want you bored off your ass trying to read the long list.
So I gave up on men for a while. To be honest, I really wasn't interested in stuff that Mr Equal would have been interested in. I hate politics and sports. I don't like talking about money. I'm an accountant by trade but I hate reading business stuff. I do it, but don't enjoy it. So what would Mr Equal and I have in common? Nothing. I'd probably be bored and unhappy.
When I met Jason I felt completely at ease. There was no pretense at all. We meshed so well, that people thought we were married. I was 100% myself. He was 100% himself. There wasn't any need to put on airs. We met on friend basis that quickly led to much much more. I would say that my husband is my New Mr Equal. We have so much in common that it's scary. We have 90% the same interests. We have some of the same traits. I found my male equivalent.
Just like at the end of the movie, Taraji and I found our love of our lives.
My advice to those who are looking for their love. Find the guy who completes you. Someone who is your best friend. The guy who you can be yourself with. The one who gives you fireworks in your heart. And remember don't put any false expectations on him. Don't try to change him. He will change on his own in order to make you happy.